The Daily Telegraph

After last year’s pledges about lockdowns, being told by a minister not to worry is only going to make us worry more

- By Michael Deacon

Whenever crisis looms, it’s important that ministers tell people not to panic. The only trouble is, being told by ministers not to panic can make people more panicky still. Especially these days. Last year, each reassuranc­e that there wouldn’t be another lockdown was swiftly followed by another lockdown. So telling people that there’s nothing to worry about is bound to make them worry.

Yesterday, this unenviable task fell to Kwasi Kwarteng, the minister responsibl­e for energy. In the Commons he made a statement, attempting to reassure the public that there was no need to panic about gas. He did “not expect” supplies to run out this winter, and there was “absolutely no question of the lights going out or people being unable to heat their homes”. Time and again, he insisted there was “no cause for alarm or panic … We mustn’t instigate panic, there’s no cause for that at all … There’s no reason why we should be inducing panic…”

We must of course hope that he’s right. Even so, the more nervous may observe that saying you don’t “expect” supplies to run out isn’t the same as saying they won’t. If a minister announced that he didn’t “expect” Britain to be invaded by zombies, the public might not feel entirely at ease.

(“Mr Speaker, I’d like to assure the House that, at the present time, the Government is not aware of any immediate threat from a vast and terrifying army of bloodthirs­ty zombies, and does not expect to see marauding hordes of the undead roaming our streets and feasting on human flesh by the end of this week. We are therefore confident that there is no imminent need for the public to barricade their doors and arm themselves with baseball bats.”)

On the plus side, Mr Kwarteng is no Corporal Jones, and his deep, booming voice gave his reassuranc­es an air of paternal certainty. He also demonstrat­ed a soothing line in euphemism, referring repeatedly to small energy suppliers having “exited the market”, which sounds so much nicer than saying they went bust.

Responding for Labour, Ed Miliband protested that gas bills would be shooting up at the same time as Universal Credit was being cut – and shortly before National Insurance was due to rise. This was bound to alarm many families, and the minister was being “much too complacent”. In other words: instead of telling us not to worry, he should be worrying more himself.

Meanwhile, Mr Kwarteng promised MPS he was trying to tackle a second (but related) crisis: a fall in the industrial production of carbon dioxide, which is worrying the food and drink industry.

Sometimes the news can be confusing. Right now, Boris Johnson is in America, telling everyone they’re producing too much carbon dioxide. While back here, his ministers are telling us we aren’t producing enough.

If a minister announced that he didn’t ‘expect’ us to be invaded by zombies, we might not feel entirely at ease

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