Way of theworld Michael Deacon
How can we fight back against the tyranny of cancel culture? A Conservative MP believes he’s got the answer. Jonathan Gullis – honourable member for the Red Wall seat of Stoke-on-trent North – says that “woke” teachers and lecturers should be reprimanded, or even sacked.
For example, any teacher or lecturer who uses the term “white privilege”, he argues, should “face a disciplinary hearing at the very least”. In his view, the only way to “stop the cancel culture” is to tell “woke” teachers and lecturers that “if you are going to push your ideology in the classroom, there are going to be consequences for you… We need to start sacking people who are pushing their political ideology.”
It is of course heartening to see a Member of Parliament devote so much energy to tackling this important issue. I fear, however, that Mr Gullis’s proposal contains one small flaw.
Cancel culture involves trying to get people sacked for expressing opinions you don’t like. Yet here is Mr Gullis, trying to get people sacked for expressing opinions he doesn’t like. Which means that instead of ending cancel culture, he is unwittingly promoting it.
This is the last thing Mr Gullis would want, because, like any true opponent of cancel culture, he believes above all else in free speech. So there is only one course of action open to him. If he does succeed in getting a lecturer sacked, he must immediately campaign to get the lecturer reinstated.
“This sacking is an appalling injustice,” he must tell the Commons. “It is truly chilling to think that, in this day and age, someone can lose their job merely for expressing the ‘wrong’ opinion, or for using a phrase – such as ‘white privilege’ – that a handful of over-sensitive snowflakes claim to find ‘offensive’. Surely the whole point of university education is to encourage the free exchange of ideas – even if those ideas are controversial. I hereby call on the university that I called on to sack the lecturer to reappoint the lecturer forthwith.”
Of course, given how passionately Mr Gullis opposes cancel culture, he will then doubtless turn his fire on the person who called for the lecturer to be sacked.
Which means that he will have to call for himself to be sacked. But then, for the same reason, he will have to call for himself to be reinstated.
“My treatment of myself has been utterly shocking,” he will tell a crowd of supporters. “How dare I seek to destroy my career, just because I happened to say something that I don’t agree with? Frankly, it’s high time that people like me learned to be more tolerant of our own opinions. I may disapprove of what I say – but I shall defend to the death my right to say it!”
Fears of an energy crisis are growing. Thankfully, however, the country is in good hands. If families are struggling to heat their homes this winter, reported a newspaper on Sunday, the Government will launch the following emergency plan.
It’s “a public information campaign to urge people to put on a jumper”.
What a helpful suggestion. No doubt households across the land will be deeply grateful.
“I say, darling, have you seen this leaflet from the Government? It says that if you’re feeling chilly in the cold weather, you should try putting on a jumper. How clever. I never would have thought of that myself. Until now, I’d been planning to spend all winter wearing nothing but a bikini.”
“So had I, Gerald dear. Thank goodness for this extremely useful public information campaign. The only question is… what exactly is a ‘jumper’? And where on earth do we get one?”
“Hmm. Now you come to mention it, I’m pretty sure I’ve got a few in the back of my wardrobe somewhere. That must be what they are – they look just like the picture on the front of this leaflet. I’d always wondered what they were for. My sister sometimes gives me one for Christmas, but I’d never got round to asking.”
“What good luck, dear. But do these jumpers of yours come with instructions? How do you put them on?”
“Good question. This leaflet doesn’t seem to say. Perhaps you wear them over your trousers. Stick your feet through the two long bits with a hole in the end, to keep your legs warm.”
“Ah yes, I see. But hang on a minute. What’s the big round hole in between the two long bits for?”
“Oh, just for ease of access when going to the loo, I suppose.”
“Yes, that makes sense. I’m surprised the leaflet doesn’t mention it, though. The Government surely can’t expect us to work these things out for ourselves.”