Nurse Ratched stalks cuckoo’s nest as it fails to solve intractable crisis
Priti Patel addressed the Commons following the biggest single loss of life in the Channel since the migrant crisis began. “There are no simple solutions,” she warned.
MPS agreed it was a heartbreaking tragedy. They blamed the traffickers, European inaction and Government xenophobia. The Home Secretary condemned French mulishness. But on what to do next, the House rapidly descended into a battle of head against heart, pragmatists versus idealists.
On the bleeding heart side were the SNP, and the independent MP for Islington North, Jeremy Corbyn. “Pushing them back is not a solution,” he proclaimed. “It is brutality.”
Nick Thomas-symonds, the shadow Home Secretary, walked a tightrope. In Keir Starmer’s new-look Labour Party, he could not look soft on immigration, nor commit that ultimate sin – siding with France. But nor could he risk agreeing with Ms Patel too violently.
In Labour circles, the Home Secretary is the pantomime villain; sparking rage with a slight twinge of the eyebrow. Mr Thomas-symonds attempted to plot a middle way between the bleeding hearts and the Wicked Witch of Witham by calling for less radical moves – further assistance for unaccompanied child refugees and reversing aid budget cuts.
On the pragmatists’ side of the aisle were the Tory awkward squad.
Christopher Chope, Philip Hollobone and Sir Edward Leigh formed a tough-nut triptych. “We have to face down the human rights lawyers,” boomed Mr Leigh. “When governments are soft, people die!”
Some SNP members painted the Government as a heartless landlord, callously turning away the needy and desperate. “Will she commit today to ending all discussion of the dangerous practice of offshoring?” demanded a hand-wringing Martyn Day.
There was just one problem. Scotland had hardly rolled out the welcome mat itself. The Home Secretary glowered at Mr Day with an unassailable air of self-righteousness. “I’m very disappointed by the Honourable Gentleman in his tone, comments and his inability to understand the situation.”
She’d worn a sky-blue collared suit, reminiscent of an old-style nurses’ cape, and momentarily channelled Nurse Ratched as, with sickly sweet faux-regret, she reminded him of Scotland’s less than hospitable record.
“It’s such a shame that the SNP, a party that has failed to support asylum seekers in their own authorities ….”
This prompted mutterings on the SNP benches, and a few muffled gasps of rage. The pantomime villain seemed on the verge of a proper booing, but she plugged on anyway. “Thirty one out of 32 local authorities do not participate in the voluntary dispersal scheme for housing asylum seekers,” snarled the Home Secretary at the Scots, “there’s an inconsistency there.”
An hour later, the Commons seemed no closer to agreeing on the causes of this intractable problem – let alone finding a solution.