WALDEN’S WORLD

We’re getting awfully touchy about food

Joking is a fool’s game on social media nowadays, as Callum Oakley found out to his cost. Last week, the 38-year-old TV cocktail expert – who gives mixology classes on Sky’s popular show The Craft Store – was temporarily barred by Facebook for jesting that “peas of all forms should be made illegal. Collect them all and set them on fire.”

What the little green pods had done to incur such wrath remains a mystery, but five minutes later, a Facebook ban was issued, admonishing Oakley for “going against community standards for inciting violence”.

We’re getting awfully touchy about foodstuffs these days. Faggots have been off our menus for some time, rapeseed oil and ladyfingers are now frowned upon, and, as of last week, midget gems have been banned by M&S “amid fears the branding could cause offence to people with dwarfism”. And I couldn’t help but imagine what a midget gem uprising might look like, complete with mass protests, banners, T-shirts, and Brave heart inspired chants in which mobs with candy-striped faces holler in unison: “You can take away our freedoms, you can take away our liberties, but you will never take our midget gems!”

As for Facebook, it’s good to know its moderators have their priorities straight, and that while racially inflammatory and childgrooming content is still rife across its platforms, some bot out there is still looking out for the peas.