Mow or vacuum?

In Jacques Tati’s film Mon Oncle, the woman in the modern house is given a plastic bouquet and exclaims: “Oh, plastic! Flowers that last!” The opposite, more human, view explains why plastic grass has been disparaged. It has been regarded as nasty, even vulgar. Now a Swindon parish council has countered complaints from residents about leaves from council trees spoiling their nice plastic lawns. Try vacuuming, advises the council. More self-righteous voices insist that plastic grass is a crime, threatening wildlife with microplastic detritus. So is there no way through this uncivil lawn war? Esparto grass was once imported in quantities, before the advent of plastic. Could it not be processed and dyed for artificial lawns less damaging to the oceans? Even then, for most of us, mowing the lawn will remain a staple part of life.