The Daily Telegraph

Way of the World Michael Deacon

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The Duke of Sussex – aka the Artist Formerly Known as Prince – has been warning parents about the dangers of social media. He says it can expose young people to online “hatred” and “dangerous content”. This is true. But the Duke is overlookin­g an even greater problem for the young.

And that’s the way social media can brainwash them.

As every parent knows, teenagers are more susceptibl­e than any other age group to peer pressure. The idea that teenagers are rebellious is nothing more than a pop culture cliché. The truth is the opposite. Teenagers are conformist­s. Their insecurity makes them desperate to fit in. They’re terrified of seeming different. After all, seeming different gets you bullied.

This is why social media is so bad for them. Social media, and in particular Twitter, has turned opinions into fashion items. As with haircuts or trainers, you have to be seen to have the right ones. Not only that, but you have to keep pace with the latest changes in fashionabl­e opinion, because what might have been the right opinion last season may not be the right opinion this season. And if you express the wrong opinion, other people will mock or shun you.

So how do you know which opinions are fashionabl­e, and which aren’t? It’s very simple. On social media, the latest progressiv­e opinions (about everything from politics to gender theory) are invariably fashionabl­e. Conservati­ve opinions, by contrast, are invariably unfashiona­ble. They’re the equivalent of wearing socks with sandals.

To older people, this may not be much of a concern, because they tend to care less about what strangers think of them.

The young, however, care desperatel­y about how they look to others. They long to sit at the cool kids’ table.

And social media vastly intensifie­s that neurosis. At a vulnerable, impression­able age, social media teaches them always to parrot fashionabl­e opinions – and never to risk expressing unfashiona­ble ones. In my view, this is the most harmful aspect of social media. Not the bullying – but the fear of bullying. Because it’s that fear which enforces groupthink and ideologica­l conformity.

I don’t know what Elon Musk’s plans are for Twitter. But the best thing he could do with it is to close it down straight away. It would be $44 billion well spent.

A fter the damage wrought upon their tourism industry by Covid-19, the Spanish should be doing all they can to entice British holidaymak­ers back again. Instead, however, they risk driving us away for good. Because, at all-inclusive holiday resorts on Ibiza and other Balearic islands, killjoy politician­s have imposed a strict alcohol limit. They’ll only let you have a measly six drinks a day – and more absurdly still, you can only have them at lunch and dinner. So no more tipsy afternoons sipping cocktails by the pool.

The aim is to prevent tourists engaging in drunken misbehavio­ur. But clearly the rule is unfair, because not everyone misbehaves when they’re drunk. Indeed, most of us don’t. So why should the responsibl­e, well-behaved drunks among us be penalised, just because a few violent dimwits can’t handle their drink?

Luckily for the Balearic tourism industry, however, I have a solution for them. Before arriving on Ibiza or Mallorca, all tourists should be required by law to do a test. But not a corona test. A Corona test.

It will work as follows. At the airport on the way out, each passenger will be required to down eight pints of lager.

This will enable officials to assess how each one behaves while drunk.

If a passenger starts chanting Ten German Bombers and picking fights in the airport branch of WH Smith, he or she will be subject to the six-drink daily alcohol limit throughout the holiday. But if he or she causes no trouble, and dozes off in the departure lounge with the latest Lee Child on his or her lap, he or she will be free to drink as much as he or she likes.

As a result, all-inclusive resorts will be saved, and the sensible majority can go back to getting bladdered in peace.

Turkey would be very foolish to block Sweden and Finland from joining Nato. Instead it should be helping both countries to join as soon as possible. And not only that.

It should be urging every other country on Earth to join Nato, too.

Literally. The whole lot. China, Iran, North Korea, Russia. No exceptions. In fact, let’s sign them all up to Nato whether they want to be signed up to it or not. Because it’s the only way to bring about world peace.

The idea was suggested to me by a reader of this column, Vernon Phillips of Wiltshire, and as far as I can see its logic is undeniable. Under the terms of Nato, all member states are obliged to defend any fellow member state that comes under military attack. Were every country in the world a member state, therefore, no one could afford to attack anyone else.

After all, if one country did dare to attack another, not only would every other country be obliged to attack the aggressor. The aggressor would be obliged to attack itself, as well. It would be obliged to shoot at its own troops, blow up its own tanks and rain bombs on its own cities – until it waved the white flag, and surrendere­d to itself.

Admittedly, since every country on Earth would be involved, this would be the biggest war that the world has ever seen. But on the plus side, it would also be the shortest.

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