The Daily Telegraph

Planet of the apes


It seems that when zoos and safaris were shut during lockdown, primates spent more time resting and alone, or performing sexual and dominance behaviours. They also ate less. When we showed up again, some of them became more sociable and engaged with their enclosures, which could be read as evidence that these animals are as excited by our company as we are by theirs.

Or it could mean that they feel obliged to put on a show, that they’d rather sit on their colourful bottoms all day, dieting and flirting, but as soon as they see a row of hairless faces gathering at the zoo window, think it’s back to work. “Got to turn on the charm lads, to keep the bananas flowing.”

Someday, when the apes learn how to talk, they will come and watch us work. If the maniacs haven’t already blown up the world, damn them.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from United Kingdom