Crown slips as poison-penned trash replaces what was once superior television drama

Television The Crown Netflix

Bad taste and bad timing combine in the new series of The Crown. This was once a superior costume drama: moments of 20th-century history packaged into an upmarket soap opera. But as the storylines catch up with the present, the show is becoming a trashy telenovela.

“If we were an ordinary family and social services came to visit, they’d have thrown us into care and you into jail.” That’s the Prince of Wales (Dominic West) addressing the Queen, (Imelda Staunton). Perhaps this is why Netflix is adamant it doesn’t need to screen a disclaimer: dialogue so absurd no one would think it were accurate.

Of course, when this fifth series was filmed, its creators didn’t know that the Queen would die weeks before its launch. But did no one at Netflix consider a re-edit? The Queen, whose health remained a private matter throughout her life, is seen being examined by a doctor. “If we can just pop your stockings off, Your Majesty,” says the physician. Granted, we never see her in a state of undress, yet it feels oddly indecent.

Then there is the strained marriage between Charles and Diana. Their vicious arguments are witnessed by their sons and when we look at the actors playing William and Harry we cannot help but see the real princes.

William, newly arrived at Eton, is shown feeling wretched as Diana uses him as an emotional crutch and it has never been clearer that the writer, Peter Morgan, cares nothing for the feelings of the people he portrays. In a breathtakingly callous move, he uses the death from cancer of five-year-old Leonora Knatchbull as a plot device to set up a nudge-nudge, wink-wink storyline about her mother’s friendship with the Prince Phillip.

When it comes to this period, it can be argued that the behaviour of the royals really did play out in public as a lurid soap opera. Charles and Diana spilled details of their infidelity and misery in television interviews and sanctioned biographies. The show can, however, be a pleasure at times, but a guilty one. The casting of ’90s heart-throb Jonny Lee Miller as John Major is hilarious.

Imelda Staunton plays the Queen as an old biddy from the bus queue. She is frumpy, out-of-touch and can’t hold a candle to gorgeous, clever Penny (Natascha Mcelhone), a rival for the Duke of Edinburgh’s affections.

Netflix insists it is not hinting at anything but innocent friendship between Penny and Philip, to which the only sensible response is: pull the other one, it’s got bells on.

Dominic West is pleased with himself because he has mastered that thing the Prince of Wales does with his mouth, and the way he fiddles with his cuffs. Elizabeth Debicki goes full

Dead Ringers with Diana’s accent and mannerisms, but lacks her luminosity. Jonathan Pryce is the best thing here, bringing gravitas to his role as Philip.

There is a rather lovely moment introducing Diana’s romance with Hasnat Khan (Humayun Saeed), a heart surgeon. He invites her for lunch, which turns out to be the offer of some Cheesy Wotsits from the hospital vending machine.

Best of all is the charting of the rise of Mohamed al Fayed (Salim Daw), from humble beginnings in Alexandria to international tycoon. Both actors stand out.

But the drama slyly distorts the facts, weaving fake lines into the Queen’s “annus horribilis” speech. Major and Tony Blair – the latter appears at the end, played with superficial charm by Bertie Carvel – have denounced the storylines involving them as nonsense.

It is also, for long stretches, really quite boring. The Panorama interview merits two episodes and feels wearily familiar. Metaphors are laughably heavy-handed, with parallels drawn between the Queen and the creaking Royal Yacht Britannia.

The King’s aides are said to be worried about the effect that The Crown might have on his popularity, but there is no need. The “Camillagate” phone conversation (featuring Olivia Williams) is embarrassing but also rather sweet. The show switches its sympathies to Charles, delving into the selfish, manipulative side of Diana.

It is hard to escape the feeling that Peter Morgan truly dislikes the Queen. Every problem can be traced back to her – even, the programme suggests, the death of Diana, for it was the monarch’s unwillingness to sit next to Mohamed al Fayed at a horse show which led to the seat being taken by the Princess of Wales. They became friends; the rest is history.

The Crown began as a love letter to the Queen. These days, Morgan is wielding his poison pen.

‘Perhaps this is why Netflix is adamant that it does not need a disclaimer: dialogue so absurd it is unbelievable’