Spoiling your children may be in their best interests, say scientists

WHETHER it is the latest toy craze or a new games console, parents have long gone to great lengths to make sure their children find the most sought-after presents under the tree on Christmas Day.

And scientists may have given adults extra motivation to spoil their children, as they contend that those who believe they are from poorer families than their friends are more likely to be bullied and have low self-esteem while those who think their family has as much or more money than their peers are less likely to face mental health problems.

Research from the University of Cambridge says children’s first years in secondary school coincide with their transition into adolescence, a time where young people tend to judge themselves against their peers and make social comparisons.

During this period, children’s sense of identity is in its infancy, and detrimental comparisons with friends can affect their view of themselves. Data from 13,000 children aged 11, gathered from an ongoing study, revealed those who viewed themselves as poorer than those around them had 8 per cent lower self-esteem scores.

They also scored 11 per cent lower for self-reported wellbeing and were 17 per cent more likely to report being bullied or victimised.

Blanca Piera Pi-sunyer, a PHD candidate at Cambridge and lead author of the study, said: “A sense of our economic position, not just in wider society but in our immediate environment, might be problematic for our sense of belonging [which is] particularly important for wellbeing and psychosocial functioning during adolescence.

“Our research suggests that wealth comparisons with those around us might contribute to a sense of social and personal self-worth when we are young,” she added.

Feelings of victimisation had dropped by the age of 14, but those who felt they had less money were still 8 per cent more likely to be the butt of jokes.

The majority of children felt they were as wealthy as their friends but 4 per cent and 8 per cent perceived themselves to be poorer or richer, respectively.

The study, published in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry did not take into account actual familial income, the child’s perception being the key factor investigated. A child from a wealthy family who thought they were poor would suffer mental issues just as much as a child from a poorer home who believed they were not so well-off.

“It may be that feeling different in any way at a time when belonging is important increases the risk of interpersonal difficulties such as bullying,” said Ms Piera Pi-sunyer.

“Many studies suggest that young people from disadvantaged backgrounds have more mental health difficulties.

“You do not have to be rich or poor to feel richer or poorer than your friends, and we can see this affects the mental health of young adolescents.”

‘Lying to the young is wrong”, or so we are famously advised by Russian poet Yevgeny Yevtushenko. But a study by Cambridge academics suggests that children’s mental health might benefit from their parents being economical with the actualité – if their school friends’ parents earn more. Eleven-year-olds who perceive themselves to be poorer than their peers scored lower for self-esteem and are 17 per cent more likely to report being bullied. This still applies to middle-class families struggling to pay school fees; their children may be rubbing shoulders with the offspring of investment bankers and KCS. So feel sorry this Christmas for those mothers and fathers. They will have to splash out on extravagant presents and exotic holidays to make sure their little darlings can keep up with the hedgies’ sprogs.