PM dodged asylum issue with ease of a lawyer halting flights to Rwanda

Keir Starmer’s tactics at PMQS were quite simple – wrong-foot the Prime Minister by highlighting the shortcomings of the immigration system. Given recent events, this should have been an easy task, but somehow Starmer spent the session flailing about; dispatching numerous heavy-handed jibes, yet rarely managing to land a blow.

Eighteen thousand people were deemed ineligible for asylum last year, began the Labour leader; “How many of them have actually been returned?”

The PM dodged Starmer’s question with the ease of a lawyer grounding a flight to Rwanda. Mr Starmer, he said, was “on the side of the people smugglers… just another lefty lawyer standing in our way”. (The correct answer was 21 out of 18,000).

“We all know the Honourable Gentleman’s plan,” crowed Sunak, “Open door immigration and unlimited asylum!”

Amid Tory jeers, Starmer hit back against the “lefty lawyer” slur by mentioning his stint as director of public prosecutions.

Difficult as it is to imagine the Labour Party being tough on channel migrants – like picturing Joan Collins in a tracksuit – Starmer was wise enough to focus his questioning on the Government’s failure to restrict numbers of Channel-crossers, not the principle itself. Not so Stephen Flynn of the SNP, who asked Sunak whether his migrant policy was “taking inspiration from Nigel Farage or Enoch Powell?” Coming from the (white) SNP leader to a PM of Indian origin, this was bold enough.

Given the non-existent numbers of migrants housed in Flynn’s Aberdeen South constituency, it showed more brass neck than the Statue of Liberty. “What a load of nonsense”, chuckled the PM, evidently delighted that Flynn had tramped so enthusiastically into the waiting bear trap.

Everyone played to their respective galleries today; away from the Commons, crisp salesman turned BBC commentator Gary Lineker had compared Tory immigration policies to 1930s Germany. Back in the Chamber, Imran Hussain of Bradford East followed Lineker’s lead by saying the PM’S plan was “dystopian, farright, appeasing, anti-refugee…” Once again Mr Sunak suppressed a smirk. Operation “make the opposition look soft” was working.

“Graphic lessons on oral sex, how to choke your partner safely, and 72 genders” began Miriam Cates. No, this wasn’t a question about the average male MP’S internet search history, but about inappropriate sex education in schools. A few members of the old guard looked momentarily discombobulated by this unexpected subject matter. Bill Cash glowered forbiddingly. Metaphorical monocles dropped all over the House.

This being International Women’s Day, Anna Firth put the PM firmly on the spot by asking if he agreed with her that sport had the potential to empower women? Come back chauvinist grandees in top hats, all is forgiven!