Under the hammer
… an almost unused deluxe 20-bore, a ‘life-changing’ Kawasaki or, perhaps, a racing spec SVX – just anything but more socks, please, asks Roger Field
I HOPE everyone who made it to the Game Fair at Ragley Hall in July set aside plenty of time to wallow in the weaponry on display at the various specialist gun auctioneers’ tents. These viewings are a golden opportunity for we folk not involved in the gun trade to spend time with killing kit we would not normally get our mitts on, be that modern shotguns or ancient flintlocks; pick them up, ask questions, swing them around, look at them in natural sunlight (always different to electric light); decide if you want anything and – unlike other ‘selling’ stands, whereby failing to lash out with your bank card you risk returning to find it has been bagged – all with no pressure to buy as it is a preview. What’s more, previews give you time to think; time to come back and take a second (or even a third) look because, in my experience, it is amazing what you see second time round that you missed on first inspection. Sometimes you realise you no longer like something you had initially thought you could not possibly live without and transfer your affections elsewhere; a perfectly natural inclination among we fickle collectors. However, at other times you realise you ‘need’ it even more.
Of course, knowing that half the shooting world has had the chance to peruse and caress your heart’s desire can be dispiriting. But that is what auctioneers do: drift juicylooking flies over we acquisitive trout in an effort to whip up interest. But, as any auctioneer will also admit, they cannot know for certain what will happen come sale day, whether that be crazy prices paid in unexpected bidding frenzies or, the reverse, complete failure as, despite encouraging pre-auction interest, buyers sit, almost literally, on their hands – not unlike those same, ever-infuriating trout that, for reasons known only to themselves, suddenly stop feeding. I’ll never forget asking a mystified and frustrated auctioneer how I had managed to end up with some fine weaponry at such knock-down prices when similar but lesser pieces had cost more in his previous sale. The answer, said through gritted teeth as he congratulated me on my canny buys, was that not one, but two, keen and wealthy collectors had for reasons known only to themselves (one rather limply phoned later to say he “forgot”) not even bid, despite having been hugely enthusiastic beforehand. That is why you must always be ready to have a go for something you want and don’t think you’ll get because, well, nobody ever really knows.
Holts’ Game Fair tent certainly did not disappoint, ‘guarded’ as it was by a massive, wheeled, 32mm (about 1¼in) ‘bank-gun’, which had a barrel almost 6½ft long and measured 11ft overall. Signed WR Pape and probably made in France or Belgium, this strange-looking beast had been owned by the same family for three generations and had been used to ‘harvest’ larks. The
technique involves a ‘mirror’ – Holts also had a homemade one of these, circa 1880, in its 20 September sale, a mahogany lure inset with five reflective squares on each side that is pushed into the ground so the upper part can spin in the wind. The larks are attracted to the glinting reflections and hover over it. Aim, adjust elevation on the bank-gun, pull lanyard and, hey presto, a mass of dead larks. All rather Gallic in its industrial approach to killing, although a Frenchman might say similar of a British punt-gunner, I suppose. It turns out that that jaunty little tune we learned as children, “Alouette, gentille alouette [lark]”, is, in fact, all about plucking the feathers from dead larks. Maybe squeamishness led to it failing to reach its £3,000 lower estimate, although there was no such problem with the lure, which almost hit its £250 high estimate to sell for £220. I’d have that bank-gun any day; a weapon to add tone to any garden and something I would have thought would have been snapped up, but then what do I know?
There were no such problems with another massive Holts gun, which certainly had me perplexed: what sort of man (and I’m assuming it would have to be a man) would be strong enough, and massive enough, to wield a single-barrel, percussion, threebore shotgun? Not me, that’s for certain, as I staggered under its weight and decided I’d pay good money not to risk firing this bruiser from the shoulder. However, the answer may be more prosaic as it is also described in the catalogue as a ‘bank-gun’, which means, according to Holts, a large ‘land use’ gun (as against a punt gun) and one that, most probably, would be propped on top of a bank to give the necessary support. One of the team had once fired a two-bore flintlock and assured me that it did not rip your shoulder off. Instead, you get a solid, but manageable, black powder ‘push’. This beauty – and it was in fabulous condition – was a semi‘repro’ that had been put together using some original parts and then built anew in 1995. It fetched £4,600, just under its £5,000 top estimate. Geese, pigeons, crows (larks, even, if in France) beware if the lucky new owner is out on the prowl.
With Christmas coming the geese may be getting fat but we chaps know only too well that our loved ones are once again buying socks, shreddies, shirts and sweaters to stick under the tree for us. Yawn, says I. Ungrateful SOB, says my family. With ‘les girls’ having long ago bought into the L’oréal mantra, “Because I’m worth it”, when it comes to gifts, and in the interests of equality,
how about some #Metoo for men with their presents? First ‘present’ off the grid was sold by Bonhams on 23 September. Bike magazine said of the 2015 Kawasaki 998cc H2R: “This is a life-changer. There isn’t another production vehicle on the planet that gets anywhere near the… bloody-hell-firesweet-lord-help-me-now performance of Kawasaki’s utterly mental H2R”. The ballsy Bike journalist managed 195mph on one and there was talk of 239mph in testing. Put another way, get it wrong on this and you’ll be sucking the festive sprouts through a straw. In spite of a warning that “it is too loud for any trackday and needs a service every 15 hours”, it still mullered its £20,000 top estimate to sell for £26,500.
Or, if you would prefer to opt for something safer, but still make a statement – aka ‘winding up your mates’ – a visit in July to Bonhams’ Goodwood Festival of Speed sale could have seen you blasting home in a ‘sinister Santorini black’, 2014, SVX (based on a 110 Defender), as used by the baddies in the James Bond film Spectre. Extensively modified and upgraded to racing specs, this was deemed the best of the 10 SVXS used on the set – it still has some ‘marks’ from the filming – and, as such, would have set you back an eye-watering £365,000. Although, turn up on the shoot in this bad boy and you’ll be expected to perform to the super-spy’s exacting standards.
One way of trying to be good to yourself without being so easily rumbled would be a visit to Gavin Gardiner’s gun sale on 12 December. A perfect new addition to the gunroom for the Boxing Day shoot, or a simple upgrade to your artillery, is an almost unused 20-bore ‘Supreme De Luxe’ sidelock ejector by AA Brown & Sons. Completed in 1996 it is exquisitely engraved with scenes of gamebirds in flight; a snip at £8,000 to £12,000. Or if, like me, you prefer quantity of lead in the air to compensate for questionable accuracy, how about a ‘composed’ pair of 12-bore backlock ejectors by J Blanch & Son at a modest £2,500 to £3,500. If your beloved, cheerfully stuffing cartridges down your smoking barrels come Boxing Day, asks if she has seen this gun before, tell her you bought it to complement the splendid shirt/ sweater* that she/santa* (*delete as applicable) so kindly gave you. If you can pull that one off then go straight to the Foreign
Office and join the Brexit negotiating team. Even as I write these words, news is just in that Holts’ gun sale on 13 December includes a superb-quality ‘royal’ 28-bore percussion muzzle-loader made for Prince Alfred (second son of Queen Victoria) by Westley Richards circa 1850. Designed for a 10-yearold and estimated at £10,000 to £15,000, this is a must-give present for any hard-toplease son and heir and one surefire solution to separate him from his Xmas Xbox.
Thomas Del Mar’s arms and armour extravaganza on 5 December also has a goodie that, given a quick clean, is perfect for chopping the Christmas pud or waving at children refusing to eat their sprouts: a gold-hilted ‘ayda katti’ dated 1808/10 and inscribed with the royal cypher of the Maharaja of Coorg (think middle/west India); a man of taste who kept a pair of ‘immense royal tigers’ with which to impress/terrify his guests as they padded around his interview room. The Maharaja gave these gleaming choppers as gifts to top chums and as rewards for bravery. This one was given to one of the Macnaghten family, whose heirs are now selling it. Yours perhaps for a festive £6,000 to £8,000?
Finally, if you have still failed to infuriate your nearest and dearest, how about a large ‘KEEP OUT Demolition in Progress’ sign that sold at Mallams in October for £70? Hang on kitchen door on Christmas morning. Hide. Await explosion. Run for the pub…