Grace Dent ‘This is less a pudding than a rumination on the farce of maintaining a small bottom’
On the train home from The Folkestone Wine Company, I decided that one Christmas I will pen a niche toilet book (potential audience: me) that denotes the emotions of restaurant critics for which we do not have words. Think The Meaning of Liff, but written by a woman in danger of gout.
A Boswell Glop, for example, is a restaurant that makes you angrier and hungrier in 11 incremental, foam-festooned courses. Findango’s Reach is a terrible, mega-hyped wonder-restaurant that exists only in the hyperbole of its marketing intern. And a Snuffly-Ligget is a place so imperfectly perfect – just like The Folkestone Wine Company – that I want to ditch the review to protect it from idiots.
This is a small, 26-seat, independent labour of love up a pretty street near Folkestone harbour. It has a doorbell that bings as you enter to alert one of the two members of staff. David Hart, the chef, and front-of-house Polly Pleasence sell good European wines by the bottle and glass – robust, smooth and fizzy ones; they’ll knock you up a good negroni, too. There’s something for everyone, plus, to complement the boozing, a pleasing menu served on mismatched crockery. Hart has Food
5 Church Street, Folkestone, Kent, 01303 249952. Open Thurs, Fri & Sun, noon-3pm (4.30pm Sun), Weds-Fri 5.3010pm; all day Sat, noon-11pm. About £30 a head, plus drinks and service