Under one roof
The couple who married twice. Plus A letter to my used-to-be son
A new series that celebrates all the different ways we now choose to live together – with extended family, friends and even strangers
We had our first son when I was 16. We lived with Davide’s mum and stepdad before renting our own place. We married in 1992 and had our second son a year later. But just before our daughter arrived, in 1995, Davide left me for another girl.
I wanted him back, but finally gave up and married someone else, and had my second daughter. I realised I’d never get over Davide while he was in my life, so I did a terrible thing and made it difficult for him to see the children. But when my second marriage ended, we became friends again.
The crucial moment came in 2009, at our daughter’s parents’ evening – we didn’t stop talking. A few days later, he told me his marriage was over. When we kissed, the past didn’t matter any more. We remarried on what would have been our silver wedding anniversary. Davide, 45
I knew we shouldn’t be splitting up the first time, but I was too young and stupid to realise what I had. Jen was my first love and she’ll be my last.
Neither of us was happy with the other one’s new partner, but we felt we had to let each other get on with life. I had no right to say anything: I was the one who’d messed it up.
Over the years, I’ve changed: I’ve grown up and want to be more involved with the kids. I know I will never love anyone the way I do Jen.
I’m so glad I had a second chance and we both had the strength to say we wanted to be together again. The children were very supportive – I even gained another child, as I adopted Jen’s second daughter. Jen’s my best friend and my wife. We know more about each other than anyone else
If you have a story to tell about who you live with, email fam[email protected] theguardian.com with Under one roof in the subject line.
Neither of us was happy with the other one’s new partner