The man with a big pe­nis

The Guardian - Weekend - - Body & Mind | Oliver Burkeman -

I have an ex­tremely large pe­nis. Ac­cord­ing to an on­line size chart, I’m in the top 1% in the world. It’s not some­thing that you can re­ally brag about or bring up at din­ner par­ties, but it does have an in­ter­est­ing im­pact on your sex life.

For many men, the idea of an enor­mous pe­nis may seem like a golden ticket, but it isn’t with­out com­pli­ca­tions. When my wife first saw me naked she was rather in­tim­i­dated by the idea of pen­e­tra­tive sex, and it took us sev­eral months of prac­tice be­fore we were even par­tially suc­cess­ful. We’ve been to­gether al­most five years and I could count on one hand the num­ber of times we’ve man­aged d to achieve full pen­e­tra­tion.

We per­sist be­cause we feel it’s an im­por­tant way to feel close to each other, but it re­quires pa­tience and ef­fort. My wife needs to have an or­gasm and uses two vi­bra­tors of dif­fer­ing sizes, be­fore she is men­tally and phys­i­cally re­laxed enough to take me.

For­tu­nately, we still have an ac­tive love life, and I re­ally en­joy our time to­gether in the bed­room. There’s plenty of kiss­ing, cuddles and mu­tual mas­tur­ba­tion. I have to be care­ful re­ceiv­ing oral sex, so my wife taps me on the leg if it’s get­ting too much.

Iron­i­cally, hav­ing a porn-sized pe­nis teaches you that pen­e­tra­tive in­ter­course – the fix­a­tion of pornog­ra­phy – is far from the most im­por­tant thing when it comes to hav­ing an en­joy­able sex life with a lov­ing partner. De­spite ev­ery­thing, my wife says she loves me just the way I am.

Each week, a reader tells us about their sex life. Want to share yours? Email [email protected]­guardian.com

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