Tom Shields on … dome alone

I READ that a stately pleasure dome has been decreed. Not in Xanadu but on the outskirts of Edinburgh. It is a Disneyesque project to be called the Spirit Of Scotland.

Inside a vast geodesic dome visitors will be able to relive great moments in Scottish history. Six adjacent pavilions will have themes such as inventions, art, language and music.

This is a great idea. But why ruin a perfectly nice bit of green countryside when we could use Glasgow? It would be difficult (but not impossible) to put the entire city under glass. But many areas could usefully be domed over. Or turned into pavilions. The city already has a Pavilion which is also a pleasure dome.

I propose all this partly because Glasgow could do with a major tourist attraction, but mostly because with the kind of weather we’ve been having it would be nice to have large bits of the city under cover. We could get out and about while remaining snugly indoors.

The Spirit Of Scotland project plans to use “realistic 3D holographic projections, animatronics, multiple screens and revolving stages”. That sounds very Glasgow to me. Especially the animatronics and the going round and round.

Robin Hardy, director of the great cult movie The Wicker Man, is the brains behind the concept. Appropriately, The Wicker Man has many jolly scenes of pagan ritual which could be re-enacted on a regular basis at the Sauchiehall Street end of the proposed dome.

Mr Hardy is keen to make a focal point of the story of Mary, Queen of Scots. Which is handy, since Mary actually watched from the Botanic Gardens as her army lost a vital battle. Her husband Lord Darnley was done to death in the nearby stately home that eventually became the headquarters of the BBC. Glasgow could purloin other bits of Scottish history and put them under glass. Tell tourists Robert the Bruce won his final victory over the English on the slopes of Kelvingrove Park. And the park’s duck pond is Loch Ness, with daily public appearances of an animatronic Nessie.

You may notice I have located the Spirit Of Scotland venues near my own abode in the west end of Glasgow. You wouldn’t want me to catch my death of cold walking from home to dome in the wind and rain.