Diminished returns

AMONG the ingenious excuses offered to HMRC by self-assessment customers for failing to complete their tax return on time: “My tax return was on my yacht… which caught fire”and “The postman doesn’t deliver to my house”.

Some went even further. “I couldn’t complete my tax return”, wrote one woman, “because my husband left me and took our accountant with him. I am currently trying to find a new accountant”.

The taxman cautioned yesterday that none of these excuses led to successful appeals against HMRC penalties for late returns. But it got us thinking: what’s the best excuse you’ve ever heard – or given?