Flushed with success

TIME to flush our toilet stories, as Jim Currie recalls: “Submariner Alistair Mars once told of submarine commanders visiting the mother ship, where the ship’s captain explained it had undergone a refurbishment and he would not tolerate any graffiti in the newlypainted toilets. He did concede though it would be hard to better the previous graffiti when someone had written, ‘This bloody house is no use at all, the seat’s too high and the hole’s too small.’

“Below in a different hand was, ‘To which I must add the obvious retort, your bum’s too big and your legs too short’.”