The Herald

A season for silliness and ill will as Holyrood packs up for holidays

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IN gentler days, as Patrick Harvie reminded us, the First Minister’s Questions before summer was when “party leaders struggled to find a little consensus and good will”.

Well, they sure struggled this year.

In keeping with the new politics, Mr Harvie was jeered for his soppy observatio­n, as Tory MSPs mocked him for being an SNP stooge.

There was so much ill-will and silliness on show, it’s hard to know where to begin.

Nicola Sturgeon describing Ruth Davidson as a modern Lady Godiva perhaps?

After the Tory leader nipped the First Minister about post-truth government, Ms Sturgeon hit back with a rant about Ruth’s robots, the dozen new Scots Tories at Westminste­r.

“No amount of camouflage will hide the point that, while she rides along on her one-trick pony, going on and on about a referendum, her MPs are selling Scotland down the river,” spluttered Ms Sturgeon.

“When it comes to Ruth Davidson, it’s all mouth and no trousers.”

But the image of a trouserles­s Ms Davidson straddling a terrified Shetland was only the start.

LibDem Willie Rennie volunteere­d for maximum pain by asking the FM if she had dropped a reshuffle of her ministers because she knew the problem “might be closer to home”.

Ms Sturgeon treasures Mr Rennie – and no-one feels guilty about beating up a LibDem.

“That proves Willie Rennie lives in a wee world of his own,” she snarled.

“Sometimes it sounds quite a fun one.

“Maybe I’ll join it one day and take whatever he’s on.”

But the prize was Tory throwback Gordon Lindhurst, who gave the Y-chromosome a bad name by asking about the gender pay gap.

In a monotone that made the shipping forecast sound like a starting pistol, Chloroform Gordon noted some oppressed males suffered from the gender pay gap too.

“What steps is the Government taking to ensure a balanced approach that addresses the issue where it affects men?” he droned.

Ms Sturgeon gawped in disbelief.

“Ruth Davidson is slowly sliding under the desk in front of her,” she reported.

The Tory leader gave a weary nod amid the laughter.

Ms Sturgeon went on: “Anyone who can look at gender inequaliti­es in society and conclude we must do more to help men rather than women misses the whole point.

“The Tories need to go away and take a long hard look at themselves.”

At which, I swear, Mr Lindhurst made a mental note to stare into the pond by his cave.

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