I’m married to a man I want to divorce, so what should I do?

SHOULD I divorce my husband or will that put me in debt?

I’m married to a man that

I want to divorce. We’ve been together for 15 years but he’s betrayed my trust so many times over the years.

I know he’s seeing another woman at work. He hasn’t denied it and when I asked one of his colleagues they confirmed it. I’ve also found receipts in his jacket for jewellery or gifts that I have never received.

His mobile phone is full of calls to this woman and, when he went away on business recently, she went too. At home, we’re sleeping in separate rooms and our sexual relationship stopped more than two years ago.

We barely speak to each other except when our daughter is around. She seems confused and withdrawn at times, so we try to pretend nothing is wrong.

Last week, I tried once again to get him out of the house by packing his cases while he was at work but when he came home he somehow made it seem like it was all my fault.

Then, I overheard him chatting on his mobile with someone about declaring himself bankrupt, so now I’m worried about our finances. Please help. LW Fiona says: You need to act quickly. This is a horrible situation for you and your daughter, who is clearly being affected by the atmosphere at home. Children often believe they are the ones responsible for problems between their parents, and this can do long-term damage to their confidence. To stop this from becoming a more serious issue, something must change and your husband needs to understand the damage he is doing to his daughter.

Either your relationship is repaired, or it is ended, but in either scenario you need professional help. If you have any lingering hopes for rescuing this marriage, then you need to speak to a Relationships Scotland (relationships-scotland.org.uk) counsellor as soon as possible, ideally with your husband.

If, as I suspect, the marriage has deteriorated to the point of no return and you are determined to end it, you need divorce advice.

The best place to start this process is by contacting Citizens Advice (citizensadvice.org.uk). This organisation has an extensive section on ending a marriage, but I think you would be better advised by finding your nearest CA branch and discussing all your problems with an adviser.

I think you need to do this quickly. If your husband is considering bankruptcy, this could have some serious consequences for you. If he goes through with it, he will no longer be liable for any debts that you have taken on jointly. As I understand it, this could mean you will become liable for debts, including your mortgage.

I know this must all seem daunting but, if you stay strong and focus on how your life will be better once you are free of this man, I’m

If you would like Fiona’s advice, email help@askfiona.net