So does TV’S Lorraine look better now she is in her fifties?
study published in the journal Science Advances this week found that men continue to increase in attractiveness until the age of 50. Women, however, decline from the age of 18. Here we find out where the truth, if any, really lies or if the silly season is back in town.
MEN become more attractive as they age? Of course they do. And by the time they hit 50 they are soaked in knowledge, their sparkle and wit enhanced, and as such become concentrated catnip to the female world.
Now, there is little scientific evidence (yet) to support all of this theory. Psychologists however have underlined the importance of the Halo Effect, whereby you unconsciously take one aspect of somebody as a proxy for their overall character so when women discover the older man to have seen When Harry Met Sally at least three times, their allure becomes immeasurable.
They sense themselves in the presence of a creature who can put his finger on the pulse of modern society as easily as he can the G Spot.
They will believe this man has learned cleverness. He will know implicitly, for example, that women very often say the opposite to what they actually think. And they will know he knows exactly the right time to lie delightfully (eg, “Yes, that dress goes perfectly with those shoes”).
And love him for it. Sexy or what?
In a physical sense, men age exceptionally well, particularly if they can avoid steakbakes and afford hair transplants. Yes, cartilage degeneration is unavoidable, and morning knees ache but women see this as attractive, knowing the acher will no longer spend half the week on the five-a-sides pitch. More time to do couply stuff!
The added bonus of advancing years is that men slow down their lager intake. Thus, dinner party dribbling is diminished. (Dribbling confined to sleep, and that little morning incontinence). Indeed, age and less drink means females can often hear meaningful sentences being constructed.
What age offers, paradoxically, is we men develop an even greater immaturity. The pressures of career pursuit and back-breaking finance having subsided, this frees up the older fella to reclaim his inner (That’ll Be The Day period) David Essex. And now, literally or figuratively, he can wear a leather jacket and silver earring, and spin a girl on the waltzers.
After all, isn’t this all a woman wants? And unattainablilty of course. At 50, men are often broken by failed romance, which makes them completely attainable, but somehow age allows our acting skills to emerge, a patina of confidence, to the point we can suggest the haughty indifference of youth.
There are more reasons why ladies are drawn to us. We know the words and chords to James Taylor’s You’ve Got A Friend, we can quote lines from Tennyson and The Inbetweeners and we can salsa. If push comes to shove, we can also do the slosh, (learned while working during student holidays at the United Services Club in Johnstone).
The older man may even have a sports car by this age, which hints of attention-seeking tragedy. But this is in fact a bonus. Women will take such a sad figure to their bosom, for the same reason they love the man who no longer lives with his mum, yet still takes his woolly jumpers to be washed.
Yes, there are some older men who by 50 have bought a bike and pulled on Lycra. But by the time snow appears that nonsense usually melts.
So for most men who reach half a hundred, how can they not be adorable to women? We have a great countenance and a separate underwear drawer.
We can even laugh at surveys that suggest men are most attractive at 50. OH Mrs Robinson, what a fool you were, going for the graduate when you would have been better off with Professor Dumbledore or some other silver fox.
That is one response to a study arguing that men get more attractive as they age, reaching their peak at 50, while it is all downhill on a tea tray for women as soon as they hit 18.
Now, I know what you are thinking: why are you bothering me on a Saturday morning with daft surveys and statements of the bleedin’ obvious? Short answer: it’s the silly season and it was either this or Nine Fun Things To Do With A Broken Lawnmower. Longer answer: because there is something worth noting in the study published in Science Advances, so step away from the lawnmower for now.
On a purely primitive level it is no surprise that men were attracted to younger women. It’s the law of the jungle, Darwin, survival of the most fertile and all that. The male of the species is genetically programmed to mate with the female that will give him the best chance of continuing his line. Similarly, a woman might see in an older male more protection for her offspring. We are all animals in essence, a mere hop, skip and a knuckle drag away from being the stars of Sir David Attenborough’s next documentary series.
There is more to modern man and woman than procreative impulses, however. Otherwise, dating would not have moved on from the days of early man dragging early woman back to the cave to see his etchings. As any student of anthropology knows, that only goes on today in the wilder reaches of the planet. Like Dundee, say. Clearly, there is something more complex going on here that makes men more popular the closer they get to 50. Pity, for instance. Choosing older males could be a selfless act on the part of the women to make men feel better about themselves. Women do this all the time. Not just with men, but with other women, children, and small animals. No, no, we’ll say, you’re not losing your hair; it’s just your forehead that’s receding. Exams, kid? Schmexams. Oh Rover, next door’s cat really isn’t sniggering at you, it’s just the way his cheek flaps fall.
There could be something similar going on with all those men preferring younger women to older ones. Older women are busy, accomplished, lots to do. They don’t have the time to court men, whereas younger women are always looking for a project. They could strip back their furniture or take on some kindly older gent for trips to the theatre and so on. It’s charity, like saving the whales.
Anyway, why shouldn’t men be more attracted to younger women?
From painting to literature, from time immemorial to today, new has always had a certain allure over old.
Who would not want to be with someone who thinks they are original, witty, accomplished, who looks at you with wide eyes that melt in the sunshine of your smile? It’s the closest thing to marrying a Golden Retriever, and who wouldn’t want that.
What the survey does not show is the power of one quality in particular to turn all other findings on their head.
A great relationship does not stand or fall on looks. They might be important in bringing people together, but it’s a shared sense of humour, the ability to make each other laugh, that makes a partnership flourish.
Now, if you’ll excuse me I have a lawnmower to convert into a garden chair.