Ken Smith’s Diary now on a Saturday
Club foot
THE SFA’S decision to remain at Hampden encourages us to look in The Diary’s files to see how we have written about that great old park. It includes the story of Celtic’s Bobby Lennox, when he was inducted into the Hall of Fame, recalling that a journalist, admiring Bobby’s ability to lift the ball over a defensive wall, described him as having “a left foot like a sand wedge”. Unfortunately in the days of copytakers, it was misheard, and appeared in the paper as, “Bobby Lennox has a left foot like a sandwich”.
Italian trio
TALKING of copy-takers, on the only occasion that Scotland beat Italy, at Hampden in 1965, a writer got so enthusiastic that he wanted his story to begin “Magnifico! Magnifico! Magnifico!” After repeating the three words, the exasperated copy-taker told him: “It’s alright, son, I heard you the first time.”
Tramping
ONE of our favourite Hampden stories is the one the late great author William Mcilvanney told of meeting Sean Connery at a Scotland match at Hampden. “I can’t believe I’m here,” Connery told him. “I was sitting in Tramp’s at two o’clock this morning when Rod Stewart walks in. He’s chartered a private plane and why don’t I come to the game. So here I am.” Tramp’s, of course, being a wellknown London nightclub. A policeman who was with Mcilvanney chipped in: “It’s a small world, big yin. Ah was in a house at Muirhead at two o’clock this mornin’. It was full o’ tramps too.”
French wave
A RETIRED police officer told us of a Scotland v France game at Hampden when six French supporters missed their coach home and had nowhere to stay. The police wanted to give them a cell for the night but were dismayed to discover they couldn’t do so under health and safety regulations. So one officer had the bright idea of asking them to jump up and down waving their arms about. When this strange instruction was translated to them, they did as they were asked – and were promptly arrested for breach of the peace and put in the observation cell with the door left open for the night, and then given breakfast in the morning.
Baby talk
SUPPORTERS can get a bit rowdy on their way to Hampden but a reader passed on that she was travelling by bus from East Kilbride to Glasgow on a Sunday, with the passengers being “entertained” by Celtic fans, en route to Hampden, working their way through the Celtic song book. A woman got on with a baby sleeping in her pushchair. She looked down the bus, pointed at the fans, and told them to be quiet as “the wean’s sleeping”. To underline the point she added: “And if you wake the wean, you’ll be taking her to the match.” Silence thus ensued.
Piped up
FORMER Scotland boss Gordon Strachan has a reputation for his sharp rejoinders. A reader attending the Aberdeen-hearts Scottish Cup Final in 1986 noticed that Gordon, who had then left Aberdeen for Manchester United, was sitting in the stand behind them. While the pipe band was going around the track before the teams came out, our Aberdeen-supporting reader turned to Gordon and asked: “Aye, Gordon, do you no’ wish you were out there this afternoon?’’ Gordon replied: ‘Naw. Ah cannae play the bagpipes.’”
Jagged remark
A READER in his younger days was attending an international while wearing his old university scarf, which was black with yellow and red stripes. He told us: “A well-refreshed punter in front of us produced a half bottle and offered it with, ‘Here, pal, hae a drink.’ I politely declined. He persisted, ‘Naw, come oan, pal. If you support Partick Thistle, you need this mair than me.’”