Catriona Stewart

Is gender-free play fair to children?

ALL the children in my life who call me Auntie Cat are bought a book for their birthday and a book for Christmas. There is no finer gift, even if I say so myself, than the gift of reading.

It’s one of the most timeconsuming things I’ve ever committed to because choosing just the right book for each individual little one is no easy feat.

And clawing back up out of the rabbit hole of the children’s section of the bookshop is a tougher feat again. Not to mention the gang’s swelling numbers as new little people appear.

Children’s literature is an enlightened world full of wise guidance and liberal thought but in among Oliver Jeffers and Jacqueline Wilson still sit those frustratingly gendered books. The ones whose covers glitter pink and feature an uncomplicated princess or whose straplines mention farting and whose protagonist, if they were real, probably hasn’t had a bath since a week ago on Wednesday.

In the last year or two, brilliant new feminist children’s books have appeared on the shelves. Hardback, picture-led books that tell of the lives of Frida Kahlo and Maya Angelou and Rosa Parks. There are board books for toddlers and paperbacks for older children.

I love these unashamedly but I find myself pausing before buying them for boys because they invariably have the words “girls” or “feminist” in the titles and I worry they’ll be turned off.

And then I’m irritated at myself, a badge-wearing feminist, for caving in to these gender norms. Why should a boy reject a book with a female protagonist? Well, because outside factors are telling him to.

We are all a product of our surroundings and if your surroundings see you wearing a T-shirt saying Born To Rule while your female counterparts are decked in a top reading Born To Be A Princess then you start to unconsciously form ideas about the world and your place in it.

Despite much publicising of the issue of gendered toys and clothing and pledges from retailers and manufacturers to stop rigid messaging of what’s deemed suitable for boys and girls, the Care Inspectorate claims toys, books, clothing and other items for children are “increasingly being produced and marketed along gender lines”.

So, cars and tool sets for boys and dolls and play kitchens for girls. You would think we’d moved past all that but it seems where children are concerned, it’s still sugar and spice versus puppy dog’s tails.

Working with Zero Tolerance, the organisation has now launched a campaign to encourage nurseries and childcare providers to promote gender-neutral play. It seems such good common sense as to be a surprise this still needs mentioned.

Gendered toys don’t only make children’s worlds more divisive, they limit their opportunities and talents. Blocks and puzzles develop spatial and visual skills. Baby dolls and”feminine” toys encourage social and communication skills. They also narrowly define what choices boys and girls should make into adulthood: science and sport for boys, social science and art for girls.

Meanwhile, a public consultation has resulted in the Committee of Advertising Practice announcing changes to the UK Advertising Codes that will, as of next June, ban the use of harmful gender stereotypes. No more feckless dads struggling with nappies, no more joy-sapped women drudging about the home. No more unlucky-in-love wimps and no more pressure on new mums to look attractive.

It will be interesting to see how or if this filters down to ads aimed at children, which still blast from the screen in roars of blue or bursts of pink glitter, more subtly encouraging harmful stereotypes than any advert, say, of a woman failing to reverse park a car.

This year has been the year for discussion of gender. How many genders do we have, how do we make life equitable for those who identify as being outside of gender ‘norms’, how do we introduce equality for all gender roles?

These are thorny questions being robustly debated from social media to both Westminster and Holyrood parliaments. Yet we’re still trying to deal with the basics of challenging blue for boys and pink for girls.

Not all girls will want to play with science sets, some little boys will gravitate towards trains. It’s about being free to play with whatever they choose, rather than being assigned toys based on their presumed gender and restricting children’s choices and aspirations. It’s acknowledging children’s autonomy instead of enforcing a strict set of societal rules on them.

Gender stereotypes persist in a self-perpetuating cycle. No parent wants their boy bullied because he likes to wear a tutu. We stick to what’s socially acceptable as a means of self-preservation and so project our worries on to children.

So change must be two-fold: allowing children to play with whatever they choose while challenging adults’ preconceived notions of stereotypical gender roles and challenging adult fears of contravening those conventions.

Everything for everyone. It’s not rocket science, after all, it’s child’s play.

No parent wants their little boy bullied because he likes to wear a tutu. We stick to what’s socially acceptable