THE DIARY
Plot hatched
OUR story the other day about ordering drinks from a hatch reminded Donald Cowan on Arran of something that happened to him. “I was in the Badachro Inn in Rosshire in the sixties with friends when the public bar was in a narrow dull passage and to order you had to ring a bell.
The barman would then open a hatch in the wall and would take and dispense the order for drinks. We rang the bell and waited, but getting no reply rang again to be answered this time by the barman who said in a very Highland accent, ‘Did you want me to come with my trousers down?’”
Jump to it
THE Herald news story about private schools in Edinburgh being under financial pressure reminds us of a reader who was at Edinburgh
Airport to check in for a flight and heard the family in front of him being asked for identification even though it was only a domestic flight to London.
As the parents desperately scrabbled about in pockets and bags, their lad, wearing the uniform of a local private school, showed his future leadership qualities by stepping forward and declaring: “My name is sewn into the back of my jumper.”
X marks spot
YOU will have noticed the big political story that has been breaking this week as seven Labour MPS leave the party and form an independent group. As a confused reader phones to ask us: “So they are campaigning for a ‘People’s Vote’ on Brexit, but won’t have by-elections to see if their constituents still want them as MPS?”
Squirrelled away
IT’S the quick reactions of people that can make social media comments so entertaining. As a young woman named Kelsey in California wrote the other day: “One time I hit a squirrel with my car and cried about it for two hours. What are you all thinking about today?” Within minutes someone had replied: “My missing pet squirrel...”
Coining it in
GROWING old, continued. Says John Crawford in Lytham: “When you count the loose change in your pocket and realise it amounts to more than was in your first wage packet when you started working.”
Pie-eyed
THE Kilmarnock striker Kris Boyd criticised Celtic supporters after he was the victim of sectarian chants and was hit by a coin while he warmed up in front of them at the Kilmarnock Celtic game on Sunday. Well done Kris for speaking out about the issue.
But not everyone was sympathetic. As one Celtic fan declared: “He took that coin straight to the kiosk and bought a Killie pie, so what’s he got to complain about?”
Bit wooden
TODAY’S piece of daftness comes from David Strang who emails: “Did you know there was a big paddle sale at the boat store? It was quite an oar deal.”
Bret the musical
SUGGESTIONS of songs for the Brexit break-up album come today from Kenny Hardie in Stewart who proposes:
▪ Dire Straits - Where Do You Think You’re Going?
▪ Chris Rea - The Road to Hell.
▪ The Beach Boy - God Only Knows.
▪ The Carpenters - I Won’t Last a Day Without You.