THE DIARY
The personal touch
WE continue to focus on political campaigning in Scotia. James Thomson from Jordanhill suspects the Liberal Democrats are struggling for press coverage. His evidence is not the lack of column inches in newspapers, or web hits on the net, but the latest Libdem flyer that was posted through his letter box.
The flyer gives an anti-snp quote from a national daily newspaper. It gives an anti-tory quote from a national daily newspaper. It then gives a pro-willie Rennie quote. The source of this momentous and historic statement? “Thomas and Angela – Inverness.”
High anxiety
RETIRED high school teacher Marvin Hollis hopes his local theatre will reopen soon as he always enjoyed visiting, especially when he used to bring along his classes from Glasgow’s east end. He recalls watching the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet with his scholars. The drama on stage was reaching its crescendo when one young lad cried out: “Gaun yersel, Romeo. Dinnae be faffin’, noo!”
Toilet humour
A RECENT Diary tale pointed out that the French words for puppy (chiot) and toilet (chiotte) are confusingly similar.
Which reminds Chas Jessop from Montrose of his student days in France when he played rugby in the nation’s lower divisions.
Matches often involved visits to small towns in rural areas, referred to as “la France profonde”. If a hapless referee dared to make a decision against the home team the cry would go up from the ever-so-slightly partisan crowd: “Aux chiottes l’arbitre!”
“And they weren’t referring to puppies,” says Chas.
Artful dodger
KEEN to educate herself, reader Christine Cochrane took a course in the visual arts. “But I didn’t complete my homework,” she sighs. “So I had to drop out of collage.”
Donkey tale
A DIARY story about the Dear Green Place inspires David
Miller from Milngavie to explain how the city’s name originated. “A glazier was crossing the suspension bridge over the Clyde, leading a donkey with a pane of glass strapped to its side,” says David. “The bridge collapsed and the glazier cried, ‘Haud ma cuddy, but let the glass go.’”
Hmm. We’re not sure Saint Mungo would have agreed with this narrative….
Wings of love
ANOTHER flight of fancy from retired pilot Doug Maughan. “Some people say pilots are incapable of feelings of empathy, intimacy and affection,” says Doug. “That’s not true. It’s just that those feelings don’t involve anyone else.”
Bovine basics
ESSENTIAL farmyard information from reader Ralph Duffy: “Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?” asks Ralph. “Because they lactose.”