Killer comment

STROLLING down Buchanan Street, Glasgow, reader Martha Roberts spotted a bloke manning an open-air stall, attempting to get pedestrians to pause for a while and listen to his spiel.

Martha has no idea what he was selling as she decided not to stop after hearing the beginning of his pitch, broadcast in a loud Scouse accent.

“Good afternoon! I’m not a weirdo,” was what he said.

“I must admit,” says Martha. “I found that very reassuring. As reassuring as going on a blind date, and the first words from the chap you meet are: “Good evening, and let me put your mind at ease… I’m not a serial killer.”