WINNERS OR LOSERS?

THUMBS UP

THE world has so much to look forward to this weekend, a majestic day, a triumph for the soul, of luminescent smiles and some tears, all captured on television and stunningly lit by glorious sunshine. Yes, the Celtic-Motherwell Scottish Cup final at Hampden is not to be missed.

WHEN a voice from the front of the lift called out: “What floors would you like, people at the back?” Professor Richard Ned Lebow of King’s College London replied: “Ladies’ lingerie!” As a result an official complaint was sent to the International Studies Association. But the bold 78-year-old won’t back down and apologise, citing the loss of cherished freedom of speech. “We will be forced to muzzle ourselves and self-censorship will reign,” he declared.

THUMBS DOWN

AMY SCHUMER has predicted Meghan Markle’s wedding to Prince Harry will be “the worst time”. The comedian declared: “Her girls from high school aren’t going to be there. It’s like a parade, it’s like Westminster Dog Show.”

Is it a coincidence the comedian is grabbing at the headlines in the week of the release of her movie, I Feel Pretty, which needs all the PR help it can get?

LILY ALLEN has been overly keen to recall her druggie past, reminding the world via social media how she was once carried out of a Glamour awards ceremony after snorting a horse tranquilliser. Her new album, appropriately enough, is entitled No Shame.