WINNERS OR LOSERS?

THUMBS UP

ARKADY BABCHENKO faked his own death after discovering he was to be shot dead by the Russian security service (allegedly). The Russian journalist managed to make it to a press conference, where he drew attention to his claims of an intended assassination. But what was nicer was that Babchenko took time out later to apologise to his wife for her “two days of hell”.

ABC

cancelled Roseanne Barr’s new show after she revealed herself to be a racist moron on Twitter. But it was even sweeter to hear the comedy star grovel by attempting to claim her tweets had been induced by her consumption of Ambien sleeping pills. Apparently, racism is not a side-effect of insomnia medication.

THUMBS DOWN

SERENA WILLIAMS has shown remarkable fortitude in returning to the major tennis circuit just nine months after giving birth. But to claim her all-black catsuit has been a factor in her recovery is like saying her new rainbowcoloured outfit will add 10mph to her serve. Could she be trying to sell us something?

ALAN BENNETT’S new play Allelujah! is set in a north of England hospital which has a Dusty Springfield Geriatric Ward. Who’s going to laugh at that reference, Alan? Certainly not the promoters of Dusty, the Musical, or the Son of a Preacher Man musical. Or indeed the legions of fans who wish to remember the beehived star at her best.