The Herald - The Herald Magazine

FAQs called into question


IS it just me? Readers’ chorus: “Yep.” Fair enough. But I’ll run this past you anyway. Is it just me who finds that FAQs (frequently asked questions) on websites never have the question that I want answered?

It’s always a germane question. I’m not going on a cookery website and seeking an answer to why the stars twinkle at night.

Same with these umpteen guides to something Covid-related: never features my query. Is there an option I need on my computer’s drop-down menu? Nope, never. What about the forthcomin­g election? I don’t want to vote for any main party in the constituen­cy section, but I do want to vote on the list where all the nutters are.

But does omitting to vote on the first bit invalidate my paper? Who knows? At the time of going to press, despite all the resources of the worldwide internut in front of me, I remain devoid of a scoobie.

You say: “Why don’t you phone somebody?” Unhand me, Madam! For a start, I’m far too busy for that sort of thing. And, besides, who do I phone? The police? It’s ridiculous.

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