The Herald - The Herald Magazine
Scotland If only Alfred Hitchcock had holidayed in picturesque Perthshire...
ALFRED Hitchcock would have been proud. Certainly, the drama that played out on our final night at Moness Estate mirrored one of the legendary director’s famed handbrake-turns – jolting from hazy evening calm to hysterical panic in a sickening millisecond.
This harrowing scene even boasted that most fundamental of Hitchcockian tropes
– a male protagonist who harboured a shocking secret. And it would definitely stay that way. There was no chance I was confessing to leaving our cottage’s bedroom window open after sunset – a clear invite, as locals in this picturesque corner of Perthshire will tell you, for moths to invade en masse.
Like some unholy amalgamation of
Psycho and The Birds, a flurry of airborne antagonists had swooped down upon our heads as I flicked on the light switch, the subsequent frenzy soundtracked by my seven-year-old daughter’s ear-splitting impersonation of Janet Leigh.
With no rolled-up newspaper to enable the swift dispatch of these divebombing demons (one downside to the cost-effectiveness of a Herald online subscription) I instead yelped a popular four-letter word of Anglo-Saxon origin in a panicked falsetto and firmly slammed the door behind us.
As I caught my breath, my partner, honouring her role as the most responsible adult in the room, ushered our wee one away from the scene. This was closely followed by the sound of another bedroom door slamming.
Collapsing upon the couch that would accommodate me for the next eight hours, I resolved to slow my heartrate by recounting pleasant memories from the previous two days spent at Morlich, a cosy yet spacious two-bedroom cottage where we had taken residence. The threat of cardiac arrest dissipated as I ruminated on our lovely experiences, both at Moness Estate and in the surrounding region.
Although home to only 2000 residents, Aberfeldy’s weel-kent pulling power still sees it boast a large number of excellent accommodation options. Yet, the renowned four-star Moness Resort towers above the rest, quite literally. Plateaued on a gentle gradient with a serpentine driveway winding round the estate, guests are guided to a number of finely-appointed holiday homes and cottages that suit all tastes, budgets and hot-tub fanciers.
Originally built as a simple hunting lodge for the Flemyng family in 1758, the nowextensive Moness Resort stands amid 35 acres of beautifully-kept grounds on northfacing slopes, comprising the main Moness
House Hotel building and more than 100 cottages of varying sizes and styles.
Much of the ground floor of the main House is taken up by the Flemyng Restaurant, which offers guests a widelyacclaimed fine dining experience where only the freshest local produce is reimagined – as we like to say now – in mouth-watering new forms. There is also a varied selection of breakfast options in the mornings. On the upper floor, the more casual Terrace Grill is an informal and pleasant eatery that is suitable for young families or those who simply fancy a quick burger or a drink.
A Tardis-like architectural marvel, the deceptively spacious main House also manages to accommodate the resort’s leisure facilities, which include a large swimming pool that’s suitable for all the family, spa therapy rooms, cardio facility and a sports hall. Those who haven’t invoked the wrath of their partners by leaving windows open should note that the resort also offers weddings for up to 120 guests, while business meetings, seminars and other events can also be easily accommodated.
Effectively catering for the necessities of the adult world, it must be said the prevailing focus of hospitality at Moness undoubtedly concentrates on families – and this dedication is adequately complimented by the varied activity and excursion opportunities in the local area.
Now, this doesn’t necessarily require an attempt at righteous parenting by marching nonplussed kids to nearby Castle Menzies or Taymouth Castle Estate for historical insight. Nor does it mean a cliché-ridden car journey for ice cream in Pitlochry. Although cliches do often exist for a reason – you simply won’t find a bad gelato in Perthshire.
These familiar touchstones undoubtedly have their appeal and will pervade childhood memories for generations to come, yet it’s immediately apparent to all who frequent this region that much of the entertainment here comes for free.
Such as the way natural environmental beauty flourishes in every nook and cranny, young ones arriving from more urban areas may be so enchanted that they temporarily forget the internet exists. Or, at the very least, they’ll hold their phones up to identify a native species with an app. Either way, Perthshire’s natural beauty won’t go unnoticed.
For adults unburdened by the albatross of entertaining children, more challenging outdoor pursuits are abundant around Moness Estate, with plenty of opportunities to bag a Munro – particularly with the famous Ben Lawers ridge within driving distance. Even my own admittedly lightweight family trek on the hills was an invigorating experience – the gently rolling tracks around Loch Ard, near Aberfoyle, are tailor-made for exploration by either foot or cycle, with sculpture trails providing great explorative fun for all ages. The famous Doon Hill Trail is also an opportunity to scramble to the peak and discover a solitary
Scots pine amongst the mighty oaks – you can tell the wee ones it marks the entrance to a Fairy Queen’s underground palace. Well, that’s what it claims on the official Forestry and Land Scotland website.
There’s no need for any dubious mythologising of natural phenomena at Highland Safaris however – a must-do Perthshire attraction located a few minutes’ drive from Moness. Its commendation as ‘Best Visitor Experience in Scotland’ is perhaps no hyperbole, with informative Land Rover Safaris and scenic boat trips of Loch Tay.
Best of all, however, is Highland
Safaris’ popular Red Deer Centre which welcomes tens of thousands of visitors each year. Here, families can pan for gold and get personally acquainted with local wildlife such as owls (expert guide Tony was a wonderfully engaging host when introducing our group to the energetic Ossian), and, like it says on the tin, deer. If they’re in the mood to venture close, that is – which fortunately they were during our visit. Our wee one marvelled at the warmth and marble-like texture of the herd’s imposing and rather intimidating antlers.
An afternoon Land Rover trek to treat our lungs to the fresh hillside air was simultaneously educational and humbling, with the knowledgeable Colin enlightening us to the efforts to preserve and restore Perthshire’s natural environment as he revved up the steep inclines – irony not lost – to gift us breathtaking panoramic views of the entire region.
Certainly, Colin and Tony’s tangible comfort living and working alongside the natural world seemed to have rubbed off on me. As I drifted off on the couch ruminating on the highlights of our brief Perthshire stay, I realised I was now perfectly calm despite the presence of a multitude of aggressive moths next door.
I drifted off peacefully – in perfect harmony with nature. Divided only by a wall and firmly locked door. I also made certain to check the living room’s Rear Window was closed– yes, Alfred Hitchcock would have been proud indeed.