I miss adult company

IAM 54, and because my daughter couldn’t manage, I have custody of my two young grandchildren. Sadly, she’s an alcoholic and has been arrested for drink-driving twice now. Her health is very poor – she has liver failure and is in a really bad way. There was a possibility her children would be taken into care, and I couldn’t bear the thought of that.

My problem is that I am really missing the company of adults. The children are a full-time job and most of my friends that used to pop in regularly now no longer do so.

I have tried a couple of local mother & toddler groups but, whilst I was always made welcome, I did feel out of place and a bit awkward, as many of the mums were very much younger than me. Do you know of any similar groups that are run for grandparents and toddlers?

FIONA SAYS: It’s a shame that many of your friends have distanced themselves at a time when you need more support, and I’m not sure I could be as forgiving of this were I in your shoes.

There are some grandparent and toddler groups around, and your local Social Services team might be able to put you into contact with them – if not, try the local library, who often keep details of local group. If none exist, however, you might like to think of forming your own.

Family Lives (familylives.org.uk) have a huge amount of help and advice and support for grandparents looking after their grandchildren.

There used to be an organisation called ‘Grandparents Plus’ but the organisation has changed its name to Kinship (kinship.org.uk).

They now help and advise all the grandparents and siblings, the aunts, uncles, and family friends who step up to raise children when their parents can’t. I’m sure you’d find a lot of help and advice from them too.

I NEED TO LIVE CLOSER TO MY FAMILY

I live in a social housing development, where I’m very happy but unfortunately I’ve developed a medical condition that means I could really do with more help and support from my family.

When I approached the local authority to find out about housing in my family’s area, they said they couldn’t automatically accept me and I will have to go on a waiting list.

Do you have any idea how I can move closer to my family?

FIONA SAYS: If you have a recognised medical condition that means you need the help and support of your family in order to cope, then that should give you additional priority in terms of any waiting list.

Do talk to the local authority you want to move to and make sure they fully appreciate your circumstances.

As you are already in social housing, you may well be eligible to register under the Homefinder scheme (homefinderuk.org). Not every housing association and local authority is registered with the service though, so go to the Homefinder website to check.

Homefinder is a national housing mobility scheme that helps people who want or need to move for whatever reason or whatever the circumstances. You will get the help of a case management service that guide will you through the moving process and provide advice and support at every step of the way.

Hopefully, where you are and where you want to go to will be part of the scheme, so that you’ll soon be where you need to be for the support you need.