5 Gut feeling about beer

Your correspondent hasn’t had a beer for a year after the Lord blessed him with gout. But he still studies the subject and, this week, learned that ale drinkers need not “fear the foam”: big heads on their pints. Foam is better for your belly and enhances the taste. Always knew it. Oh, for a foamy pint.

Pets are youse

Generation Z, those hatched between 1997 and 2012, are buying pets instead of settling down in relationships with other alleged humans. Sounds like a plan. We’d recommend getting a dog over a person any day. Unfortunately, the young persons refer to their mutts and moggies as “fur babies”. Ugh, gooey!

Lost cause

We look forward to the day robots are around to help us. The latest iteration is a ‘bot that will help you find keys, wallets or reading glasses hidden by mischievous elves. We just hope the robots are tolerant and polite, not saying things like: “Reading glasses? They’re on yir heid, ya pillock!”

Nothing works

US psychologist Dr Carmen Harra has suggested five ways to fight stress: put things in perspective (realise what you can and can’t control), avoid negative thinking, don’t dwell on the past or future, devote “sacred time” to yourself, and rethink your routine. Tried all of these except avoiding negative thinking. None of them works.

Powers couple

Vladmir Putin and his ally Alexander Lukashenko, the

Chief Nutter of Belarus, are like something fiendish out of Austin Powers. This week, Eck urged other countries to join them, promising: “There will be nuclear weapons for everyone.” Once they’ve joined, doubtless he’ll tell them: “You’re the best evil allies an evil dictator could wish for.”