The Herald - The Herald Magazine
These shows sum up the best and the worst of Radio 4
‘REAL Madras 0, Fatburn Rovers 2. Porking Lisbon 3, Dynamo Chicken Kiev 8. Pork Vale 8, Man Titty 3.” Are you sniggering? I am. Just as well, actually, as I’d been all ready to write about a programme celebrating the 40th anniversary of Iain Banks’s novel The Wasp Factory. But Radio 4’s decision to change Wednesday’s schedule screwed that plan up.
Luckily, I had turned on the radio early on that morning and caught The Big League, about the Man Vs Fat football league for overweight players.
Originally aired last December, this was a lovely insight into a set-up designed to help men lose weight. In passing, it was also a hopeful portrait of male friendship and mental health.
Presenter Jay Unger, himself a player in the league, visited teams in Newport, north Tyneside and Edinburgh.
One of the men he met in Tyneside was Steven, aged
42. “In my mind I’m 20.” His body is telling him otherwise, however.
“My knees cry every time I try and do something.”
He blamed himself for his situation. “Naebody wants to admit they’re a failure. The only reason I am this size is it’s self-inflicted.” Failure was a word that, sadly, came up a lot in the programme.
There are worse things, though. In Edinburgh Unger met Dean who opened up about experiencing suicidal feelings in the past because of his own low self-esteem. Playing in the Man Vs Fat league allowed him to feel good about himself.
That’s a cause for celebration.
“Scran Marino 0, Scranmere Rovers 7. Red Leicester City 6, Ham Saladise 4 “
I don’t listen to Radio 4’s PM programme regularly enough to know if it’s always terrible when it tackles pop culture, but if it’s feature about the possibility of the actor Aaron Taylor-Johnson being the new James Bond on Tuesday evening was anything to go by I fear the worst.
It was not so much the feature itself that was the problem.
That was a simple timefilling chat with Bond Girl Susie Venner, who appeared in The Spy Who Loved Me, and screenwriter Danny Brocklehurst, who had worked with Taylor-Johnson when he was a teenager on the 2007 TV drama Talk to Me.
The main topic of the conversation was whether Taylor-Johnson would be a good Bond. (The answer was yes, probably.)
No, the weird thing was how it was all framed. Evan Davis - one of Radio 4’s most reliable presenters introduced Taylor-Johnson as “famous for being the much younger husband of photographer director Sam Taylor-Johnson and also for his role in her film Nowhere Boy.”
Hmm, is that what TaylorJohnson is really famous for? Depends who you are asking, I suspect.
I reckon rather more people, certainly those younger than Davis or myself, will probably know him more for his role in the Kick-Ass films (to be fair, Davis did mention the character), his Marvel movies (he’s soon to be seen as Kraven the Hunter) or even his role in Tom Ford’s Nocturnal Animals, one of cinema’s most horrifying villains of recent years.
Maybe I should just accept that we all like a bit of gossip when it comes down to it, even if that gossip needs to be reminded that the TaylorJohnsons will have been married for 12 years come this June.
On Sunday night on Boom Radio Spandau Ballet’s Tony Hadley was introduced as “the voice of a generation” by Phil Riley in the latest episode of Choices. Hmm. Not the voice of my generation and I’m of the right age (I’d opt for Roddy Frame or Martin Fry or Morrissey or Bernard Sumner or Madonna or
Well, there’s no shortage of options).
Never mind, Tony can sing a bit and he’s decent company on the radio.
Inevitably the Spandau Ballet split came up. After a couple of reunions the band are once again not on speaking terms.
“Unfortunately, relations are not best,” Hadley admitted. It was clear he absolved himself from any blame.
“What’s done is done. They know what they did.”
Riley cheerily concluded the interview talking about Spandau Ballet’s hit Gold. “You know it’s going to be your epitaph, don’t you,” he told Hadley.
“When you eventually, in hopefully 25, 30 years’ time, shuffle off, that’s the song everybody’s going to play.”
“Just as the casket goes in, that will be the one,” Hadley agreed.
I don’t know. If Tony hasn’t got To Cut a Long Story Short lined up for the interment he’s missing a trick.