Libby Mcarthur: among those who will be appearing on the Aye Write! stage
APROPOS hair cuts, I am increasingly aware how socially divisive and domestically corrosive they can be. Thanks to Baroness T, the market now prevails, whereas when I was a lad barbers were nationalised, like the coal and steel industries. Then, for a mere 2s6d, you could get a short back and sides and – ahem! – “something for the weekend”. Inflation means that today I pay £8 for a “tidy up”, which includes a trimming of the eyebrows. A tip of £1 brings the outgoings to £9. I am reliably informed, however, that a dear friend has found a barber who charges £7.50 for a “dry cut”, which inclincludes his beard. But while this indinduces a feeling of harmony in my dear friend, it provokes discord in hhis wife, who pays £100 plus to havhave her hair “done”. This, the HomHome Secretary says, is typical of the differences between men and wowomen, which militant feminism
hhas done nothing to redress.
HELP! LoveFilm says my rental list is running “LOW” and that soon they won’t have any discs to send me. I need recrecommendations NOW because onone can only watch the Bourne movies so many times before one hasa the dialogue off by heart. I’I’ll watch anything so long as it ddoesn’t have vampires or Pierce BBrosnan in it. Or animals. Or chchildren. Or cartoon characters. Or ssoppy love scenes. Or is set in the futufuture. Or the distant past. Or …
THIS Thursday evening, I am chairing a debate at Aye Write! on the subject of culture and independence which, as everyone knoknows, is comin’ yet for a’ that. Joininging mme at Aye Write! are sundry dear friends, including James Boyle, Pat Kane, Libby McArthur and Hannah McGill, all of whom one trusts will stir a few embers. I, of course, will be sitting astride a metaphorical barbed wire fence. I have been thinking, however, what culture might be like in an independent Scotia. Will there be, as one scribe recently assumed, more ballet dancers? Or any?
Or more cheerful movies, in which weans in the boondocks pop Opal Fruits rather than mind-altering pills and sing the Easterhouse equivalent of Edelweiss? And what about swearie words – will our scribes be charged every time they use one?
And while we’re at it, how do you pronounce piobaireachd and, perhaps even more importantly, why would you want to? These are some of the tough questions I expect my panellists to consider. Please tell me you’ll be there.