Make a deal ... let Noel win

The Herald on Sunday - - VOICES -

SPEAK­ING of the jun­gle – well, not the real jun­gle fre­quented by proper ex­plor­ers, just that re­mote part of Aus­tralia where, on a yearly ba­sis, celebri­ties gather to eat creepy crawlies – who knew that em­peror Noel Ed­monds was what we have al­ways been wait­ing for?

Well, he did ac­tu­ally. Be­fore he en­tered I’m A Celebrity ... Get Me Out Of Here! last week, he ob­served, “I may be Mar­mite, but there’s a hell of a lot of peo­ple that seem to like Noel’s ver­sion of Mar­mite.”

Not for a long time have we seen a leader of this par­tic­u­lar flavour of Mar­mite, with such gi­ant, mus­cu­lar fore­arms, so ca­pa­ble of switch­ing from mud­dled com­mand to con­fused dif­fi­dence, lord­ing it about as the hun­gry masses grow rest­less, and ca­pa­ble of such aw­ful jokes.

All hail, the em­peror. But do we want him to stay in?

After all, he has also said that if he wins, he will leave tele­vi­sion.

“That’s a deal I’m pre­pared to do with the Bri­tish pub­lic. If they vote me king of the jun­gle, I will never ap­pear on tele­vi­sion again.”

Deal, or no deal? Sounds like a bit too much of a hard exit to me.

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