Make a deal ... let Noel win
SPEAKING of the jungle – well, not the real jungle frequented by proper explorers, just that remote part of Australia where, on a yearly basis, celebrities gather to eat creepy crawlies – who knew that emperor Noel Edmonds was what we have always been waiting for?
Well, he did actually. Before he entered I’m A Celebrity ... Get Me Out Of Here! last week, he observed, “I may be Marmite, but there’s a hell of a lot of people that seem to like Noel’s version of Marmite.”
Not for a long time have we seen a leader of this particular flavour of Marmite, with such giant, muscular forearms, so capable of switching from muddled command to confused diffidence, lording it about as the hungry masses grow restless, and capable of such awful jokes.
All hail, the emperor. But do we want him to stay in?
After all, he has also said that if he wins, he will leave television.
“That’s a deal I’m prepared to do with the British public. If they vote me king of the jungle, I will never appear on television again.”
Deal, or no deal? Sounds like a bit too much of a hard exit to me.