He’s sparked an American uprising, but the Trump card for ‘Q’ would be to reveal he’s the President himself
THE last days of Rome. Sodom and Gomorrah. Hitler’s bunker. Brookside. History dictates that when the final curtain is falling, panicked frenzies of mass fornication will often, ahem, arise.
Claims that Melania only wears those towering heels so she can step over pulsating piles of naked, knotted flesh in one bound are simply speculation, however. Such intel would be highly classified anyway – privy only to those with a top-level “Q” security clearance.
It’s perhaps ironic then, that an anonymous whistleblower claiming to have such access-all-areas credentials has recently convinced millions of Americans that it’s them who are getting screwed. By a villainous band of “elite” puppet masters who, apparently, rule the entire world.
Last October, a mysterious, all-knowing online phantom calling themselves “Q” began posting cryptic messages in notorious internet forum 4chan under the title “Calm Before the Storm”. He claimed to be tasked with “posting intel drops” from the Trump administration.
His aim? To covertly inform the public about the President’s true modus operandi – to stage a counter-coup against the cancerous, omni-tentacled bureaucratic monster known as the “Deep State”. Namely, the CIA, FBI and the Clintons. And, of course, the Obamas. And – worst of the lot – the compliant, subservient mainstream media who tend to mock such paranoid claims. Boo hiss.
A storm gathers
OVER the past few months, Q’s “Storm” has become a hurricane as visible as Jupiter’s great red spot – spreading virally through the internet’s bowels and arriving at the central nervous system of Reddit, YouTube, Facebook and Twitter. Q’s postings are now very much mainstream, evangelising an immense army of devout followers.
And despite Trump’s inner circle being picked off one by one like teens on Elm Street, these “QAnon” believers still see a President on top of his game, in full command of this inconsequential wee rock spinning eternally around a nuclear furnace somewhere in the backwaters of infinity.
Mibbie he is. Who can’t marvel at how Trump subverted his perceived moronity to a winning advantage last week, deliberately misspelling “Smocking Gun” on a Tweet.
See what became the lead news story that day – it certainly wasn’t the Mueller investigation.
And the result of the President painting himself as a clown?
He’s still the President, one who quite consciously amplifies his most lurid and grotesque characteristics.
And he hides in plain sight. It’s in this febrile climate of reality distortion and mass distrust that Q thrives.
Q cops off
LAST Friday, Florida police sergeant Matt Patten was relieved of his duties. His crime? Sewing a wee homemade patch onto his uniform – the letter Q. The main issue was not Patten’s allegiance to an online conspiracy theorist, or his appallingly bad needlework, but the fact he wore this wonky wee homage during a visit by vice-president Mike Pence.
This was controversial because underneath Sgt Patten’s Q, visible to the media cameras, was also the sewn-on phrase “Question The Narrative” – which must have taken ages. “It’s spreading,” Q posted online soon afterwards, alongside the pics. That someone claiming to be a top government insider has almost overnight become the world’s most powerful conspiracy theorist is all thanks to a notoriously “unmodded” website called 4chan. Its forum /pol/ stands for “politically incorrect” and attracts myriad tinfoilhatted headbangers who all log on when David Icke isn’t touring.
This is where Q first found an audience last October and just one year on, Trump rallies are abundant with Q banners and quotations. It’s a very real phenomenon – some of the most popular online videos on “QAnon” boast millions of views – and the controversy has turned America’s Twitter into a battleground that makes Brexit look like a neighbourly hedge dispute.
With QAnon’s fire granted the oxygen of life by media commentators, politicians and celebrities including, um, Roseanne Barr, it was only a matter of time before it sent some vulnerable person off their trolley. And earlier this year, a man armed with a rifle and a handgun drove an armoured vehicle to the
Hoover Dam on what he said was a mission from QAnon. Other incidents have followed, such as the stalking of Stormy Daniels’ lawyer and other shootings, said to have been inspired by Q’s rantings.
So what’s Q’s appeal? Simply solidifying the enduring belief that the planet is controlled by billionaire fascists and that we are all bound to their will. Q’s perception of such horror taps into primal, deep-rooted fears of the bleakest possibilities – paedophiles with “elite” status and secret Illuminati rulers – painting a dark portrait of an enslaved world chained to omnipresent forces that infect us all like a cancer. With Donald Trump being the only cure. Perhaps Sgt Patten will now be offered a role as the President’s new Chief of Staff.
And finally ...
AS a multi-millionaire property mogul, self-made entrepreneur and global brand name who fills stadiums all over the USA, Dolly Parton certainly isn’t dolly. And neither is Donald Trump. Both are lucid American dreamers, masters of theatre and subterfuge, elaborate barnets effectively diverting attention from the whirring cogs underneath.
A compulsion to cloak their true selves in grotesque caricature isn’t all they’ve got in common. Both acutely understand that life is a confidence trick in assimilation and folk will often mock those who fail to conform to feel superior. It’s a common conceit among the herd that serves only to empower walking cartoons such as Trump, who can get down to some serious work under their projection of eccentricity.
Turning yourself into the joke relieves enemies and rivals of their ammunition, and Trump is untouchable for this very reason – the liberal intelligentsia who despise him can only endlessly repeat accusations of idiocy, an insult losing its potency each time thanks to the law of diminishing returns.
Revelling in being reviled by liberals, Trump – and Q – are winning.
USA Trumped?
WITH such a high estimation of The Don’s genius, one wouldn’t be risking ridicule by insinuating Q is Trump himself. Having had to acknowledge the static surrounding QAnon, the White House has stated: “The President condemns and denounces any group that would incite violence and certainly doesn’t support groups that would promote that type of behaviour.”
Those who believe Trump is behind the whole charade often cite Q’s post: “Nothing is random. Everything has meaning +++.” Seven minutes later, Trump sent a tweet and also ended it with +++. Then there was a photo posted by Q, the location of which which matched the co-ordinates and landmass Air Force One was flying over at the same time it was posted.
The more sensible members of the QAnon movement simply believe Trump is in cahoots with the real Q and is indeed using them as a conduit for truth – bypassing the enemy of the people, the mainstream media.
It all certainly points to Steve Bannon’s brand of mischief-making, yet he – and most of Trump’s inner circle at the time of Q’s initial posts – are now either in jail, sacked or touring the planet sewing seeds of suspicion and discord at high-profile “debates”.
So, everyone is gone but Q keeps posting. Leaving, only, Trump. And Melania, of course.