Julie’s story
‘I feel I’m in a prison cell ... this is really challenging’
THERE has been a flurry of public health messages about maintaining mental wellbeing in lockdown.
But, Julie*, who lives alone in Glasgow, says those already in the grip of mental illness have been sidelined.
The 49-year-old has been signed off work with depression and anxiety since late 2018, but her condition started to deteriorate with severe claustrophobia in October.
She said: “There’s a level of claustrophobia that you can live with, that doesn’t affect your life, and once it goes beyond that you don’t have a life.
“By February I wasn’t going out, I wasn’t seeing friends, and at that point I basically felt suicidal. I had had a massive deterioration in my mental health which was already quite poor.
“I was referred to psychology as urgent by my GP, but my referral was immediately downgraded to routine. I’ve had three urgent referrals now and they’ve all been downgraded to routine and rejected, and I was discharged in April without any treatment.”
In March, non-urgent outpatient appointments – including for counselling and cognitive behavioural therapy – were paused across the NHS due to the pandemic.
Julie believes her referrals were repeatedly downgraded from urgent to routine in order to remove her from waiting lists.
“Mentally ill people were still ill and our services were withdrawn. I think I would have been on a waiting list for psychology already if it wasn’t for Covid.
“I’m claustrophobic and I’m being asked to stay indoors. I’m in a flat. I don’t have a garden.
“This is really quite challenging because I feel like I’m in a prison cell and I wasn’t coping with the panic, but I was discharged with a letter saying ‘you can contact Lifelink’.
“Lifelink is for people with mild to moderate conditions – I’ve been off work for a year-and-a-half. I don’t have a mild or moderate illness.”
As well as claustrophobia, Julie has also begun developing symptoms of agoraphobia exacerbated by the fears over the risk of catching the virus when she leaves her home in the city’s west end, which she says has become increasingly crowded in recent weeks.
“There are problems with social distancing and a minority who refuse to adhere to it. I have to take 15mg of Diazepam to go for a walk because that’s the only way I can manage when people come within a metre of me.”
Another source of anxiety is buying groceries because Julie is not on the shielding list prioritised for online delivery slots.
“I’m simply no more able to go to a supermarket right now than someone on the shielding list, and I don’t have anyone to go for me.
“The slots are not released in the daytime so I have to set my alarm to get up several times during the night instead to try to get one. “It’s a constant source of anxiety because I don’t know if I’ll get a slot at all.
“I’ve also had an eating disorder in the past and that’s something I’ve battled for 30 years, so for me to be able to access food safely is crucial to avoid that escalating ever again. I won’t be the only person in that position who’s really struggling.”
Rachel Cackett, executive director of Samaritans Scotland, said one in three calls to its helpline currently relates to coronavirus, including “struggles with mental health, access to services as well as the impact on basic needs such as food, housing and employment”.
Billy Watson, chief executive at SAMH, said: “These are difficult times and we know our colleagues in the NHS are facing unprecedented demands, but we cannot allow people with mental health problems to go without treatment and support.”
A spokeswoman for NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde said: “We continue to provide mental health support for those who need it in the face of Covid19. Our emergency services remain in place for anyone who is in a mental health crisis and we continue to manage urgent referrals into our mental health services.” * not her real name