‘All I could think of was they were both gone in such a short time’

ON the morning of the funeral of Jenny Douglas’s mother in April she received the call that her father, living in a care home, had died just hours before.

It was a devastating blow for the carer who had moved in with her mother in Aberdeen in February to help look after her in the advanced stages of cancer.

Coming to terms with the death of her parents within seven days of each other during lockdown has been difficult for Ms Douglas who has been unable to be close to or touch family and friends in her grief.

“The funeral was very hard because we could only have seven people in for the service,” she said.

“Everybody else had to stand outside but it’s not like you can come out and shake people’s hands and get a cuddle – that was really horrible, not being able to get a bit of comfort from somebody else.”

Hazel Douglas died on her 79th birthday, just weeks after her diagnosis. Ms Douglas feels lucky to have already been with her mother when the country went into lockdown, and could say her goodbyes in person but other members of the family couldn’t do the same.

Ms Douglas’ father George was unable to see his wife of nearly 50 years before her death, as living with vascular dementia and pneumonia in a care home meant he couldn’t leave.

She said: “I think he’d given up before then but telling him about my mum, I think he just decided, I’ve had enough, I’m going with her.”

Ms Douglas was allowed to see her father in person to tell him the news, but before then had only been able to communicate with him via video call, which caused him confusion. On the day of his death, Ms Douglas saw her father, 81, again as his condition had worsened but stabilised. She told him how much she loved him, and he did the same.

The day of the funeral and her father’s death are a blur, with Ms Douglas phoning family and friends to tell them the news before attending her mother’s service at the funeral directors.

She said: “It was the strangest feeling and all I could think of was they were both gone in such a short time.”

George Douglas was buried one week later with a handful of family and friends in attendance.

Not being able to embrace her wife, who travelled to Aberdeen from Glasgow for both funerals, has been “soul destroying” for Ms Douglas.

“I feel as though I’ve still not grieved properly,” she said. “I’ve not been able to get a hug and it doesn’t feel real.

“I feel overall [lockdown and isolation] is going to hold a lot of stuff back and it’ll take me longer to get to grips with it all.”