My U2 joke

FOR an all-too-brief period in 1989, I became the lead singer of GUN.

During a rehearsal, I’d suggested the only thing preventing them from taking the next step up the rock ’n’ roll ladder was their lack of a dynamic lead singer.

“Like me,” I said, tongue firmly in my cheek.

But what started as a joke was soon no laughing matter.

“Why not show us what you can do,” said vocalist Mark Rankin, eyeing me suspiciously. The only time I’d ever sung in public was at Sunday School or on the football terraces.

But this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me to channel my inner Robert Plant.

GUN played a note-perfect version of Taking On The World, with yours truly on vocals.

I got the words right. I was in tune, I think. But let’s put it this way, Rankin was not reaching for his jacket.

Next, we attempted Love In Vain – a song by blues legend Robert Johnson – brilliantly covered by the Stones on their 1970 live album, Get Yer Y-Ya’s Out.

When GUN taped the track – through a WEM Echo Unit – it sounded like it had been recorded in Wembley Arena.

I played this “hot” new version of Love In Vain on my radio show, and that’s when things took on a more surreal tint.

I informed listeners it was the new single by U2, featuring guitarist The Edge on vocals, instead of Bono.

The response was encouraging, with one letter saying: “I’ve been a U2 fan for years, but sometimes they can get stuck in a bit of a musical rut.

“This new direction with The Edge is a welcome change. Let’s hope they get him to do more.”

At a gig in King Tut’s in Glasgow, a well-known Scottish musician sidled up to me and said that new U2 single is brilliant. I never knew The Edge was such a good singer.

“You can imagine the abusive comments I received when I confessed to my sins on the next programme.

“Months later, I bumped into U2 at The Brit Awards in London and relayed the story. The band p***** themselves laughing.

But, significantly, they promised that should Bono ever be struck down by laryngitis in future, they’d give me a call.”

The silence from Dublin has been deafening.