There’s a war on – so indecisive Tories must back PM or sack him
THE Conservatives in Westminster have lost the plot. They have taken leave of what little sense they had left after the Brexit wars. Boris Johnson has driven them into the realms of the irrational. It’s not the men in grey suits that they need need now now but but the the men men in in white white coats. coats.
Take Take Steve Steve Baker, Baker, the the leading leading Brexiter Brexiter MP MP and and a a long-time long-time supporter supporter of of Boris Boris Johnson. Johnson. On On Wednesday, Wednesday, he he was was all all but but weeping weeping as as he he urged urged MPs MPs to to show show forgiveness forgiveness for for the the only-human only-human sins sins of of “a “a brother brother in in Christ”. Christ”.
He He meant meant Boris, Boris, the the accidental accidental party party animal. animal. The The very very next next day day he he was was thundering thundering like like an an Old Old Testament Testament prophet, prophet, citing citing Ezekiel, Ezekiel, and and declaring declaring that that “the “the gig’s gig’s up” up” and and Johnson Johnson should should “be “be long long gone”. gone”. If If only. only.
The The only only people people who who can can get get rid rid of of Boris Boris Johnson Johnson are are Tory Tory MPs MPs themselves, themselves, by by tabling tabling and and winning winning a a vote vote of of no no confidence. confidence.
That That would would force force Johnson Johnson to to resign resign and and hand hand over over to to another another leader leader or or call call an an election. election. But But Tory Tory MPs MPs seem seem unable unable to to cope cope with with regicide regicide – – not not something something the the party party has has had had trouble trouble with with in in the the past. past.
In In a a day day of of pure pure hysteria, hysteria, they they rejected rejected an an attempt attempt by by the the party party whips whips to to close close down down the the whole whole partygate partygate farrago farrago by by blocking blocking Labour’s Labour’s attempt attempt to to have have Boris Boris Johnson Johnson referred referred to to the the commons commons privileges privileges committee committee for for lying. lying.
The The Government Government has has a a majority majority of of 80. 80. This This should should have have been been a a non non cerebellum, cerebellum, as as Boris Boris might might say. say. But But many many Tory Tory MPs MPs were were simply simply not not prepared prepared to to put put their their names names to to a a motion motion that that said said their their leader leader had had been been telling telling the the truth. truth. Incredible. Incredible.
So, So, while while the the PM PM was was parading parading in in India India like like an an overweight overweight Bollywood Bollywood extra, extra, the the Commons Commons voted voted for for him him to to be arraigned be arraigned before before said said committee committee on grounds on grounds of terminological of terminological inexactitude.
inexactitude. This made no sense at all, procedurally This made no or presentationally. sense at all,
The procedurally committee or will presentationally. have to decide whether The committee Mr Johnson will have “knowingly” to decide misled the whether House Mr when Johnson he said “knowingly” that the misled lockdown the House rules when had he said been that followed the in Number lockdown 10. rules He has had already been followed admitted in that they Number weren’t 10. He followed. has already admitted that
they But weren’t he will followed. insist that he thought they had But been he will – so insist clearly that he didn’t he thought break they them had been knowingly. – so clearly Just he like didn’t the head break of the Covid-19 them knowingly. Taskforce, Just Kate like Josephs, the head who of the actually Covid-19 wrote Taskforce, the Covid Kate rules Josephs, and who yet was actually also wrote fined for the breaking Covid rules them, and yet unknowingly, was also fined by for attending breaking a them, work party.
unknowingly, by attending a work party.
Agony prolonged Agony prolonged
THE privileges committee has a two to one THE Tory privileges majority. committee The conclusion is forgone. has a two This to one inquiry Tory will simply prolong the majority. agony. The
conclusion If Tory MPs is don’t believe their leader, they forgone. should This sack him.
Perhaps inquiry will some simply think that, prolong if they the allow agony. partygate If Tory MPs to go on long don’t enough, believe the their voters leader, will they get should sick of sack hearing him. Perhaps about it.
Well, some listen think up that, if because they allow they partygate already to go on are. long enough,
the It voters is ludicrous for the will Commons get to be preoccupied sick of hearing with about parties it. Well, when listen the UK up is becoming because they deeply already involved are. in the war in Ukraine. It is ludicrous The UK for has the become Commons president to be Zelenskyy’s preoccupied leading with parties European when ally the and UK is is now becoming openly deeply training involved Ukrainians in the soldiers war in on Ukraine. British The soil. UK has become president Zelenskyy’s Like most leading people in European the UK, I ally support and is this. now Britain openly has training taken Ukrainians a moral lead soldiers on this on war British and has soil. galvanised European countries Like into most imposing people unprecedented in the UK, I economic support sanctions this. Britain and sending has taken arms. a However, moral lead war on is never this war something and has that galvanised should be entered European into countries lightly, even into in imposing a supporting unprecedented role. economic sanctions Yet when and have sending you heard arms. any However, proper debate war is about never this something in that should Parliament? be entered We are into now lightly, in a proxy even in a supporting war with Russia role. yet MPs continue to obsess Yet when about have parties you two heard years any ago. proper What debate are about Britain’s this in military Parliament? aims exactly? We How are far now should in a proxy we go war to with prevent Putin Russia winning? yet MPs We continue are to reportedly sending obsess modern about parties Challenger two 2 tanks to Poland years ago. so they can send their Soviet-era What tanks are to Britain’s President military Zelenskyy. aims exactly? This raises How the far question should of we why go we to don’t prevent do Putin the same winning? kind of deal We with are reportedly aircraft. The sending days modern when war-making Challenger 2 was tanks exclusive to Poland to prime so they can ministers send their under Soviet-era royal tanks prerogative to President are long Zelenskyy. gone. But This when raises have the you question heard of the why Commons we don’t do the same weigh kind up the of deal pros with and cons aircraft. of Britain The days becoming when war-making Vladimir was Putin’s exclusive enemy to prime number ministers one. There under could royal well prerogative be a human are long cost. gone. But when have
you Putin heard has the already Commons made weigh at least up two the chemical pros and attacks cons of in Britain Britain. becoming
Vladimir Putin’s enemy number one. Ukraine popularity There could well be a human cost.
Putin has already made at least two THESE chemical issues attacks are in of Britain. grave national importance – far more worthy of MPs’ intellectual energy than who got a fixed penalty notice in Number 10.
THESE Boris Johnson issues are is of not grave indispensable national to the importance war effort – and far more could worthy be replaced. of MPs’ But he intellectual is immensely energy popular than who in Ukraine got a fixed – almost penalty a notice mascot. in If Number he is to 10. be removed, we Boris owe it Johnson to Ukraine is not to indispensable get it over with to quickly. the war effort It is deeply and could offensive be replaced. for MPs But to play he is procedural immensely games popular when in Ukraine civilians – are being almost dumped a mascot. in mass If he is graves to be in removed, a European we owe it to country. Ukraine to get it over with
quickly. So why It do is deeply Tory MPs offensive not do for the MPs decent to thing play procedural and hold a games vote of when no confidence? civilians are What being are dumped 54 backbench in mass graves MPs waiting in a for? They European clearly country. don’t believe in Johnson, so why So not why remove do Tory him? MPs We not cannot do the afford decent to thing have and a vacuum hold a vote in Number of no confidence? 10 during a European What are 54 war backbench MPs waiting for?
They Well, clearly the short don’t answer believe is in that Johnson, there is so no-one why not in remove the Cabinet him? or We the cannot afford parliamentary to have a vacuum Conservative in Number Party 10 during that a could European do the war job. Or at any rate, there is no-one Well, else the Tory short MPs answer think is that could there win is the next no-one General in the Election Cabinet or and the save their seats, parliamentary which is all Conservative that most MPs Party really that care could about. do the job. Or at any rate, there is
no-one Politics else has Tory become MPs think such a could toxic win arena the
Ukraine popularity
If he is to be removed we owe it to Ukraine to get it over with quickly. It is deeply offensive for MPs to play procedural games when civilians are being dumped in mass graves
in next the General Twitter age Election that few and truly save able their and charismatic seats, which politicians is all that most are willing MPs really to serve. care about. Johnson was a politician well suited Politics to these has become times – an such elite a toxic populist arena and in the media Twitter personality age that with few truly a hide able as and tough charismatic as a rhino. politicians are willing to
serve. An educated Johnson version, was a politician some say, well of Donald suited to Trump. these times The party – an elite was right populist to elect and media him as personality leader in 2019. with He a hide got Brexit as done, tough when as a rhino. Theresa May was gridlocked, and An he educated went on to version, win a landslide some say, of election Donald victory. Trump. The The PM party is, was or was, right able to to elect speak him across as leader the new in 2019. political He got divide, Brexit which done, when as the Theresa former Tory May minister was gridlocked, David Gauke and he explained went on to in win the a New landslide Statesman, is election no longer victory. about The social PM class is, or but was, about able culture to speak and across geography. the new political divide,
which Johnson as the could former speak Tory to minister educated David metropolitan Gauke explained elites, in like the his New wife, Statesman, while also is no being longer adopted about social by non-graduate class but about Northern culture and nationalists. geography.
There Johnson is no-one could speak else in to the educated Tory party who metropolitan has that reach. elites, like his wife, while
also But being the downside adopted by of non-graduate having an eccentric, Northern intellectual nationalists. showman as leader is that There they is no-one tend to else be vain, in the disorganised Tory party and who impetuous. has that reach. They think accuracy and truth But is the for downside little people. of having an No-one to Truss eccentric, intellectual showman as leader is that they tend to be vain, disorganised WHO and impetuous. could replace They him? think Tory accuracy MPs have and looked truth is at for Rishi little Sunak people. and decided he
No-one to Truss
doesn’t fit, not least because of his rich, non-dom wife.
WHO They could are terrified replace of him? Priti Tory Patel, MPs though have they looked broadly at Rishi support Sunak sending and decided illegal he immigrants doesn’t fit, not on a least one-way because ticket of to his rich, Rwanda. non-dom wife.
Liz They Truss, are terrified the Foreign of Priti Secretary, Patel, though has not they had broadly a good support war and sending has little illegal voter appeal. immigrants on a one-way ticket to
Rwanda. Jeremy Hunt, the chair of the health select Liz committee, Truss, the Foreign is effective, Secretary, intelligent has and not loved had a by good the war media. and has little voter
appeal. But he stood against Boris Johnson before Jeremy and Hunt, was rejected the chair by of Tory the members health because select committee, he lacked any is effective, personality. intelligent
and Labour’s loved by Keir the Starmer media. is probably the best But politician he stood in against the House Boris of Johnson Commons right before now, and and was he’s rejected so wooden by Tory birds members could because nest he in lacked him. any personality.
A Labour’s competent Keir Islington Starmer layer is probably with the neither best politician vision nor in the wit. House of Commons
right But now, we’d and better he’s get so used wooden to him, birds because could nest the in Conservatives him. seem to have acquired A competent an electoral Islington death layer wish. with
neither By perpetuating vision nor Johnson’s wit. premiership when But they we’d no better longer get trust used and to him, believe him because means the handing Conservatives the next seem election to have to Labour. acquired an electoral death wish.
By perpetuating Johnson’s premiership when they no longer trust and believe him means handing the next election to Labour.