Mummy, why is Rudolph bark­ing?

The Herald - - OPINION -

WON­DER what they think of it abroad. Not the ker­fuf­fle over Brexit, they long ago cer­ti­fied us in­sane on that one, but the Bri­tish love of Christ­mas theme parks.

Make that aw­ful Christ­mas theme parks. Once again, fam­i­lies are tak­ing to so­cial me­dia to share their pain. They come ex­pect­ing, as per the ad­ver­tise­ments, a win­ter won­der­land filled with rein­deer, elves, and snow.

What they get in­stead is muddy fields, sparsely dec­o­rated barns and, for the truly lucky, a husky wear­ing antlers.

At one site in Wales, which charged £57.80 for a fam­ily of four, com­plaints were made about an “en­chanted wood­land walk” full of rub­ble and tree stumps, and a Santa whose beard fell off.

I swear it has be­come a com­pe­ti­tion to see who can have the most naff ex­pe­ri­ence. So much more fun than queue­ing up in a depart­ment store to see some scary old man dis­trib­ute over­priced tat.

Just think, if/when Brexit does oc­cur, we can sell the rot­ten Christ­mas theme parks idea to the rest of the world. Ker-ching!

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