Heard the one about Trump’s old lawyer?

WHAT does Donald Trump do after he pulls a cracker? Pays her off. No, I’m not starting a new career as a Noughties Bernadette Manning, but merely passing on one of the top 15 cracker “jokes” this festive season.

One person guaranteed not to laugh at the Trump joke is Michael Cohen, the US President’s former lawyer. He was sentenced this week to three years for, among other things, making “hush money” payments to women who alleged they had had affairs with Mr Trump. The President has denied the affair claims, denied directing Cohen to break the law, and called the payments, amounting to some $280,000, “simple private transactions”.

Cohen, dismissed by the President as “weak”, was determined not to go quietly. “It was my blind loyalty to this man that led me to take a path of darkness instead of light,” he told a Manhattan court.

Would it be very wrong to remind Mr C of a tweet he sent three years ago? “@Hillaryclinton when you go to prison for defrauding America and perjury, your room and board will be free!” Now that’s a cracker.