MRS. CRACKENTHROPE THE LADY TAHT KNOWS EVERYTHING
It’s been another mad and mess-ridden few weeks in Wild Westminster, as our illustrious leader Boris de Pfeffel continues to cling to his throne amid partygate chaos. Unlike the preachers and party poopers of SW1, Mrs C thoroughly enjoys a boozefilled bash – and the ensuing havoc they wreak. So without further ado, here’s what pricked Mrs C’s ears this week…
Mrs C hears her friends in the Cabinet Office have ladened the walls of 70 Whitehall with “reshuffle boards,” in anticipation of Boris throwing a surprise ministerial hokey cokey. One MP in the know suggested a shuffle is coming amid pressure from Tories for “the boss” to overhaul his top team.
Speaking of reshuffles, future minister and Braveheart of the North Jake Berry, has offered his apologies in private to my fellow 18th century heartthrob, Jacob Rees-Mogg. Berry accused the Moggster of “crocodile tears” over the impending National Insurance rise. “If Jacob Rees-Mogg wants to vote with his feet that’s up to him,” he told Times Radio in January. Mrs C is delighted to hear the pair promptly made up. Northerners everywhere rejoice. M rs C was utterly delighted to welcome in February, as with it came the reopening of her beloved watering hole, Strangers. On re-opening night, I was only too happy to see antics quickly turn from respectable to rowdy. Mrs C overheard one inebriated Labour MP being told to “shut up and drink your pint” by a chivalrous Irish staffer. The MP in question had been having a heated discussion with a separate staffer in his own party – so much so that Strangers fell silent before the hero Irishman stepped in to relieve patrons of the awkwardness.
A seat on Labour’s parliamentary committee – think the 1922 but without the sex and violence – isn’t usully the hottest ticket in town. So Mrs C was intrigued to see not one, not two but four candidates throw their hat into the ring for the chance to have a weekly cuppa with Keith Starmer. Congrats to the victor, Barbara Keeley, surely a Sir Graham Brady in the making. Tips to MrsCrackenthorpe@protonmail.com.