How to work with the Palace

Prepare

The Guards officer asked me if I was ready. The double doors opened and we marched into the room. The officer introduced me. He then left – and so started my first one-to-one meeting with Her Majesty. I was there to ask H.M. to sign an official document. Know what the document is about? Why H.M. should sign it? Have a little polite small-talk up your sleeve.

Stay focused

Entering the Commons Chamber with a message from H.M. in morning dress, you can expect a little banter. The “Beast of Bolsover” never missed an opportunity. My own friends enjoyed a good wind-up. You have practiced the march, you know the number of paces, and learnt the lines. Now blank out the noise.

It’s your message to H.M.

The daily message is not a repeat of Hansard. H.M. asked me to keep it light. I tried to capture the mood, add a little humour, and shine a light on to hidden gems in the House. My favourite characters were “Petit Patel” and “Justice Gove and his deputies”. “Mr Squeaker” was very popular and made numerous appearances. “Geography teacher” Jeremy Corbyn always had a tale to tell on a Wednesday. As well the fun moments, you have a duty to share those very sombre moments. Enjoy this time writing and recording. I captured nearly a year of observations. Develop your own style.

Cherish each moment

This is a very special role in Parliament. Being held hostage in Buckingham Palace wasn’t on the bucket list, but as the royal party climb into their carriages and head to the Palace of Westminster, the offer of a tea and biscuits in the Lord Chamberlain’s office was polite confinement.