MRS. CRACKENTHORPE

THE LADY THAT KNOWS EVERYTHING

Sumer is icumen in, as once they sang in the round; already we find ourselves tormented by British disappointment at Wimbledon and a Palace that’s far sweatier than it should be. In such foisty conditions, gossip has a tendency to breed at an exponential rate, so it’s fortunate your diarist has had her ear to the ground.

Still smarting from the Boris no-show at the NRG Group jamboree in Doncaster, chair Jake Berry then received a tsunami of calls from fawning Cabinet ministers asking how they could implement his levelling up proposals. The SoSs were apparently desperate to burnish their credentials with Our Friends Oop North. Thoughts on the leadership much, dears?

Mrs C has of late been very much struck by France’s handsome minister for transport, Jean-Baptiste Djebbari, and his social media célébrité. He has gathered 1.2 million followers on TikTok with his très amusant short videos. Could his impact be related to a slight uptick in the frequency of our own Transport Secretary’s TikTok output? Soon to smash the 13,000 followers barrier, Grant Shapps has a way to go to catch up to his continental counterpart, but your diarist wishes him all the best on this particular long-haul journey.

Speaking of heartthrobs in politics, Labour advisers report that a dashing new colleague has joined them on the parliamentary estate; a member of electropop band Clean Bandit has laid down his violin to pick up a job with shadow chancellor Rachel Reeves. Just as his former band came to the rescue of the party’s Labour Live festival in 2018 by headlining, perhaps this new gig will see Labour’s economic offer reach a wider audience. Neil Amin-Smith is already attracting rave views from colleagues: “Very fit,” one admirer simpers.

Following the recent departure of his favourite hairdresser from the parliamentary salon, Mrs C is saddened to hear the PM is struggling to get on with the remaining coiffurist. My spy with the bouffant reports: “She is actually much more experienced and does a better job than the lady that left, but she must get frustrated because every time she tames Boris’s locks, he departs the salon ruffling them up again.”

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