How one lazy tweet led to a spat with a sweary Buddhist
I shouldn’t have done it. It was a lazy, off-the-cuff comment that wasn’t designed to attract much attention. I simply tweeted: “I am so bored of going for a walk, so fucking bored.” And that day I was. I was sick of the dull weather, combined with the local walk that my partner and I feel obliged to make daily; the trot around the familiar block, which – when we’re both working – is all we have time for. However, this tweet weirdly garnered more reaction than I expected – more than 12,000 likes and almost 600 comments.
Some of the people tweeting back at me were pretty cross. I got quite a lot of, “how dare you be so ungrateful”, and tweets telling me that as an able-bodied woman, I should consider myself fortunate to be
able to go for a walk at all. I was also told that people probably got sick of rationing during the Second World War, but they just got on with it, “for six years”.
Others took offence at the word “bored”, and told me exactly how I should go on a walk and appreciate what I saw better – that I should keep my eyes open (er, for the record, I usually do). A Buddhist took exception to my tweet, too – and after a brief altercation, actually swore at me, which I felt rather proud of. A number of followers reminded me that the Covid dead would love to go for a walk. Then there was the advice – I have never received so much unsolicited advice in my life! So many people telling me what I should do, as if none of their suggestions had ever entered my head.
Quite a lot of people told me I should get a dog – though weirdly, it’s only ever strangers who tell me this. People who really know me never tell me to get a dog. They know that I’m a selfish 61-year-old woman who has remained dogless for all this time, because the truth is: I don’t really want a dog. I’ve toyed with the idea of getting a dog, but the only dogs I really like are smooth-haired black and tan miniature dachshunds, and my brother’s silent and graceful whippet. This is why I shouldn’t have a dog – I am picky about what they look like, and I don’t like the fact they poo, thus anyone who truly loves dogs wouldn’t encourage me to get one.
Then there were the bike enthusiasts: “get a bike”, they demanded, like I’d never contemplated the possibility of owning two wheels. Again, I wanted to scream: “I’m a 61-year-old woman! Don’t you think if I wanted a bike I’d probably have bought one by now?” But I haven’t, and there are reasons for my bikeless state. For starters, I live on top of one of the steepest hills in London. Call me a lazy old bag if you like, but I’d only ever use an electric bike – and they’re quite spendy. I also only have a tiny hallway, and I genuinely don’t have the indoor space for one. “Then get a fold up bike!” I was told – or get a specia harness for the bike, or build a shed thing outside your house... do this, do that.
I should have deleted the tweet, but I was kind of fascinated by the reaction – by the sheer number of people who felt compelled to tell me how wrong I was
Except the thing is, I don’t really want to. I was lent an electric bike a couple of years ago and I had three weeks of trialing the thing – but felt zero temptation to buy it when the trial was up. The fact is, it frightened me. I kept thinking I was going to die, and I could never get the lock to work. Then there were the folk who urged me to swap my walk for a run (like that was ever going to work). I’ve tried running – I got to week six of the couch-to-5k running app, a level which took me 10 weeks to complete – at which point I hit a wall of complete loathing and gave up.
Most people, I’m sure, were genuinely trying to help. It’s just that the sheer volume of “help” bogged me down. I should have deleted the tweet, but I was kind of fascinated by the reaction – by the sheer number of people who felt compelled to tell me how wrong I was, and how I could improve my life by being more like them.
It’s odd because I’ve had a pretty good relationship with social media (especially Twitter) over the past decade, and although no one was vile or rude, the tide of patronising responses from the positive-thinking brigade to this dull little tweet actually drove me off it for a couple of days. That said, there was one criticism of the tweet which cropped up many times during the day, that I will accept: I should of course have written, “bored with” – not “bored of”. Apologies grammar fiends – I’m still blushing, now.
As for walking, the galleries are now open – that’ll get my step count up. Much as I’m a fan of the recent
magnificent magnolia, tulips and blossom, I can’t wait to get indoors and see some art.