The Jewish Chronicle - JC Magazine - - Relation Tips -

VERYONE IS fa­mil­iar with that breed of fe­male known as Bridez i l la — a seem­ingly nor­mal young woman, but sud­denly trans­formed by the ac­qui­si­tion of an en­gage­ment ring into a de­mand­ing, short­tem­pered bun­dle of nerves. Well, be warned, for there is a far more danger­ous type of woman around — Mumzilla.

A Mumzilla is the mother of the bride (or in some in­stances, the groom) who morphs into a hys­ter­i­cal con­trol freak the mo­ment the en­gage­ment is an­nounced.

So if you are lucky enough to be plan­ning your daugh­ter’s wed­ding, here are some sim­ple rules to en­sure you do not turn into a Mumzilla, with all its at­ten­dant stresses. Your fam­ily will thank you for it.

1. It’s the bride’s day, not yours. You may be foot­ing the bill, but as long as bud­get con­straints are ad­hered to, let her get the wed­ding she wants. Yes, I know when you got mar­ried, your par­ents prob­a­bly made all the ma­jor de­ci­sions, but to­day’s brides want much more in­put into their big day.

2. En­joy the frock shop­ping. Never mind that you can’t fit into a size 10 any more. Ditch the rad­i­cal pre-wed­ding diet as it will only put you in a bad mood.

Just eat sen­si­bly and all the run­ning around prior to the big day will en­sure that the pounds melt away. And peo­ple will re­mem­ber your smile and your grace, not the fact that you needed the tight­est-ever pair of magic knick­ers ever to get you into your dress.

3. Keep a sense of per­spec­tive, cou­pled with a sense of hu­mour. Three films are re­quired view­ing on the run-up to the sim­chah: Fa­ther of the Bride (the Steve Martin ver­sion, with “Fronk” the hys­ter­i­cal wed­ding plan­ner); My Big Fat Greek Wed­ding (sub­sti­tute the word “Jewish” for “Greek” and you’ll find it strangely ap­pro­pri­ate) and Meet the Fock­ers (which only goes to show that what­ever your fu­ture mechutan are like, it could be worse).

4. Ah yes, the Fock­ers. Thanks to the film, the term is now gen­er­ally ac­cepted to mean “the other side”.

What­ever they are like, just smile sweetly on the day and all will be fine. If you are lucky enough to get on with them, you are truly blessed. And if you don’t, you won’t have to mix with them af­ter the wed­ding day un­til it’s time for the bris, please God.

5. Don’t worry about the food and drink. Ev­ery­one at the wed­ding is there to have a good time, so leave it in the hands of the caterer.

If peo­ple com­plain about the but­ter­nut squash soup or hate the roasted veg­etable ter­rine, tell them to get like the breast of chicken… stuffed.

6. Most im­por­tant of all, try to en­joy the months of plan­ning and ev­ery time you feel it is get­ting too much, take a deep breath and re­mem­ber how quickly your own wed­ding day went.

Any plans that go awry will prob­a­bly go un­no­ticed by your guests. The do lasts only a few hours, so make the most of it. And as we all know, the wed­ding is just a cel­e­bra­tion. It’s the mar­riage that counts.

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