VERYONE IS familiar with that breed of female known as Bridez i l la — a seemingly normal young woman, but suddenly transformed by the acquisition of an engagement ring into a demanding, shorttempered bundle of nerves. Well, be warned, for there is a far more dangerous type of woman around — Mumzilla.
A Mumzilla is the mother of the bride (or in some instances, the groom) who morphs into a hysterical control freak the moment the engagement is announced.
So if you are lucky enough to be planning your daughter’s wedding, here are some simple rules to ensure you do not turn into a Mumzilla, with all its attendant stresses. Your family will thank you for it.
1. It’s the bride’s day, not yours. You may be footing the bill, but as long as budget constraints are adhered to, let her get the wedding she wants. Yes, I know when you got married, your parents probably made all the major decisions, but today’s brides want much more input into their big day.
2. Enjoy the frock shopping. Never mind that you can’t fit into a size 10 any more. Ditch the radical pre-wedding diet as it will only put you in a bad mood.
Just eat sensibly and all the running around prior to the big day will ensure that the pounds melt away. And people will remember your smile and your grace, not the fact that you needed the tightest-ever pair of magic knickers ever to get you into your dress.
3. Keep a sense of perspective, coupled with a sense of humour. Three films are required viewing on the run-up to the simchah: Father of the Bride (the Steve Martin version, with “Fronk” the hysterical wedding planner); My Big Fat Greek Wedding (substitute the word “Jewish” for “Greek” and you’ll find it strangely appropriate) and Meet the Fockers (which only goes to show that whatever your future mechutan are like, it could be worse).
4. Ah yes, the Fockers. Thanks to the film, the term is now generally accepted to mean “the other side”.
Whatever they are like, just smile sweetly on the day and all will be fine. If you are lucky enough to get on with them, you are truly blessed. And if you don’t, you won’t have to mix with them after the wedding day until it’s time for the bris, please God.
5. Don’t worry about the food and drink. Everyone at the wedding is there to have a good time, so leave it in the hands of the caterer.
If people complain about the butternut squash soup or hate the roasted vegetable terrine, tell them to get like the breast of chicken… stuffed.
6. Most important of all, try to enjoy the months of planning and every time you feel it is getting too much, take a deep breath and remember how quickly your own wedding day went.
Any plans that go awry will probably go unnoticed by your guests. The do lasts only a few hours, so make the most of it. And as we all know, the wedding is just a celebration. It’s the marriage that counts.