MY WEEK* JOHN ABARR

THERE C O ME S a time i n a man’s l i f e w h e n h e thinks good and hard about what he believes and makes his stand, however unpopular that might be.

This is why I have decided in the last week or so to open up my Ku Klux Klan group to anyone who wants to join, regardless of colour, creed, religion or sexual orientation.

FactislifeintheKKKhasgottenprettylonelyoverthepastfewyearsuphere in Montana and I have been thinking to myself we need to get out there and open up new markets for Klan membership. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a whitesupremacistbutthenagainalot of gay people are white and so are people of the Hebraic persuasion, despite being a little swarthy. And while black people ain’t exactly white, there ain’t no reason I can think of that black couldn’t be the new white just like in the fashion world — yes sirree Bob.

Therejustain’tthesameappetitefor dressing up in sheets and pillow cases andgoingouttherewithtorchestoterrorise them as there used to be. So why notgetallthosepeopleinwhoweused to lynch, shake hands with them and promise not to tar and feather them ever again?

Not everybody is as excited about our new start. Bradley Jenkins, the imperial wizard of the United Klans of America, says the mainstream KKK is not quite ready to welcome in those of other races. The good news is he’s “gonnasendsomeof theboysaround”, which I will be lookin’ forward to as I haven’t had any human contact in a while now. And it sure will be nice to be able to show someone the portraits of Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King I’ve been a paintin’ these past few weeks. *As imagined by Simon Round