Wefailourchildrenwhen wechoosetoisolatethem

THERE IS set to be a sea-change in my son’s life come September. Like most 11-year-olds across the country, he is anticipating the autumn with a mixture of nerves and excitement as he prepares to go from being the big fish in a little pool, to the tiny plankton in the great big ocean.

His Oyster card awaits for the commute to and from secondary school, where he will be responsible for everything that until now has largely been organised by yours truly. It’s a rite of passage, but not an easy process. Beside the usual parental concerns, I must confess to experiencing an extra layer of angst.

My boy, Benji, has been in Jewish education since he was two-and-ahalf and has thrived in that warm, nurturing environment. Yet soon, with just a year to go before his barmitzvah, he will embark on a new life at a secular school alongside children from every walk of life. Unlike many other families I know, we were lucky to get our first choice. So why the misgivings?

My husband and I are secular British Jews. We do not keep kosher nor go to synagogue. Yet through our strong connection to Israel and our cultural traditions, our identity is as deeply entrenched as the most observant. When we first considered a primary school for our eldest, we were hesitant about closeting him in an environment where everyone else was the same as him, to a greater or lesser degree. But what was the alternative?

According to the Board of Deputies, more than 26,000 children currently attend Jewish schools. In 2008, approximately 60 per cent of all Jewish children were in Jewish education — more than double the level (25 per cent) 30 years previously. That number will have risen still further as the number of Jewish schools continues to grow. Half of attendees hail from the strictly Orthodox community, where demand for Jewish education is universal. That leaves a significant proportion remaining — including my three sons.

I myself attended a Jewish primary school in the 1970s and early ’80s but the majority of my peers attended mainstream schools with a significant number of Jewish pupils. Our generation developed its Jewish identity through extracurricular organisations like Jewish social clubs, scouting organisations and youth movements.

Things are quite different today. As the number of Jewish schools grows, the Jewish representation in mainstream schools diminishes — as does the relevance of Jewish youth movements and similar organisations. Britain has become increasingly tolerant and multicultural and Judaism has flourished in a largely welcoming environment over the past generation. So what caused this trend, which could be construed as a community in retreat? In a survey carried out by the Institute for Jewish Policy Research, more than three quarters (77 per cent) of respondents said they believed Jewish schools strengthen pupils’ Jewish identity, while nearly two thirds (61 per cent) felt a Jewish education would help prevent intermarriage.

Like us, many parents find themselves stuck between a rock and a hard place. With the Jewish element all but obliterated in mainstream schools, we had to choose between Changes: Lianne with her family — Benji is far left