Can Jews ever believe in furry tails?
GREW UP in a typical Jewish family in London. Mum and Dad, three kids and no pets. My older brother and I were adopted by a cat one the summer and we used to feed it and imagine it was our own. The cat, however, had other ideas and soon afterwards adopted another family. Then there were the goldfish we won at the fair. We named them Morris and Minor, put them in a lovely big bowl with fake plants and watched them swimming around. After a couple of days they lost their appeal and a few days later they also lost their will to live.
That was about it for pets. As I grew up, I was always a little suspicious of dogs, thinking that it was a bit like having children who would never grow up. And when I had my own family, I never felt the need for a third thing to look after — two young children were more than enough.
It’s been a while — more than 1,000 years probably — since Jewish farmers last herded sheep in large numbers and needed dogs to help them. Pets have always been associated with the agricultural way of life — fresh air, long walks and farmhouses. If the stereotypical Jew was religious, studying in a yeshivah and striving to make a living in the shtetl, a dog wouldn’t have been much help. In fact, it would have been an extra mouth to feed. And who would fork out for a furry animal if they could hardly afford a chicken for Friday night? It’s also probably fair to say that fresh air and long walks didn’t feature highly in the Jewish way of life, beyond the obligatory Shabbat afternoon stroll.
However, Jews have been living in the UK for well over a century now and it seems many of us have gone native. My children were agitating for pets as soon as they could speak. My daughter had puppy calendars, puppy trump cards, puppy screensavers. She was desperate for a “labradog” as she called them. But by now her parents were divorced. I was at work all day and couldn’t look after a dog even if I wanted to. Meanwhile, my ex wife had settled down with a guy who was so Jewish he was actually allergic to dogs. It seemed the children’s dream would have to wait.
As it turned out, my kids’ new stepdad was not allergic to poodle fur. So they acquired a cross between a schnauser and a poodle, known as a schnoodle. Not only were they a Jewish family, now they also had a Jewish- sounding dog. As I popped round to pick up the kids for school or drop them back, I began to look forward to seeing the schnoodle. Suddenly I got the whole dog thing. You see, the schnoodle always seems to look forward to seeing me, too. Scientists say dogs cause the release of feel-good hormones in humans. There is also that adoring unconditional love thing, which on a good day you might get from your children but which the dog supplies every time I see her.
A recent survey revealed that Jews were slightly more miserable than the general population, so maybe more of us should adopt a pet. It’s not for me, though. I get vicarious pleasure from the schnoodle and can always look at the photos of her on my phone — all the fun... and none of the dog hair.