Sharing our simchahs
KEIRA EDWARDS’S batmitzvah was one of the biggest days of her life, but she was more than happy to share it. “I felt it made it more special,” the 13-year-old says. “I wasn’t just having a batmitzvah for myself, but for the sake of someone else.”
That someone was not a person she had ever met. In fact, Lydia Fischer had died decades before Keira was even born. And yet she was remembered at the ceremony at Newcastle Reform Synagogue in February.
This was because Keira chose to twin her batmitzvah through Yad Vashem. She contacted the British branch of the charity, which runs a specific programme that matches bar or batmitzvah celebrants with one of the 1.5 million children who died in the Holocaust. Lydia — whose birthday was the same as Keira’s and was born in Bratislava on January 30 1934 — was just 10 when she died, in Auschwitz.
Yad Vashem sent Keira and her family a folder of information about Lydia so they could research her story. Keira made a demonstration board which was displayed by the bimah during her batmitzvah ceremony, and she also referenced the twinning during her Dvar Torah. Her portion was the 10 Commandments, and she talked about how the Germans did not follow these during the Second World War.
“I felt good that I was keeping Lydia’s memory alive,” she says. “It felt like doing a good deed for someone else.”
Keira is not the only child keen to see their bar or batmitzvah as more than just a party. There are a number of Jewish charities that run programmes emphasising that this is also a time to think about those less fortunate than themselves. Many offer the chance of a “twin” to celebrate with, or to raise money for a charity that helps a child of their own age.
Emunah, the social welfare organisation which supports disadvantaged children in Israel, has been running a twinning programme since 2005 and has raised nearly £120,000 through the scheme. This money goes to help provide bar- and batmitzvah celebrations at the Sarah Herzog Centre in Afula, northern Israel, as well as therapies and activities for the children throughout the whole year. All the children at the centre are at risk and the twinning programme gives them the chance of a party, presents, clothes and simply, as Deborah Nathan, the executive director, says: “to know that children in the UK care about them.”
Those who want to take part can choose to twin with a specific child at the centre — starting a relationship via email or letter — or make a general contribution to the charity. The British children can fundraise in any way they choose, whether it’s by a bake sale or washing cars, but, Nathan adds: “the most important thing is the connection with our children. It’s when they stop being a charity case and become a real person.”
Gabriel Apfel, from Barnet, paired up with a different charity, Jewish Child’s Day (JCD), for his barmitzvah. The organisation made efforts to find an appropriate “twin” and Gabriel and Ariel, who lives in Netanya, began to exchange emails at the end of last year.
Gabriel raised the money for the programme by what he describes as “walking the Northern Line” during chol hamoed Pesach, going from Kennington to High Barnet along with his dad, Jeremy.
He says: “We raised about £1,000 which was donated from friends and family, and the funds went towards Ariel’s tallit, tefillin, a breakfast after the barmitzvah and also the barmitzvah party, which was rock-climbing for his whole class.”